the world today

Michelle Branch is pregnant with her first child, People magazine reported.

The 21-year-old singer-songwriter is expecting a baby in early August with her husband, Teddy Landau, the magazine said. The couple were married last May. Landau, 40, is Branch's bass player.

Okay, so let's look at all the things that are very wrong with that statement.

• Michelle Branch is pregnant. Can someone please explain why morons are having babies? ("Been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding..." Ugh, please don't let Britney take this as her cue to get knocked up.)
  
• She is considered a songwriter. Last time I checked, her lyrics were crap.
  
• She is married to her bass player. Hmm, odds on them staying together long?
• He is 40. Am I the only one that finds that disgusting? He could be her father.
• His name is Teddy.

And, is it wrong that seeing Charlize was the best part of the Oscars? (Oh, besides seeing Keanu twice in the opening montage.) Charlize and Keanu need to do some more movies together. ;)