Thursday, May 03, 2007

growing pains

(A few days after she came home.)

On Wednesday, May 2, at 4:00pm, our beloved May passed. She would have been eleven this month. We had to put her down to end days of pain she had endured due to chronic bronchitis and cancer.

We were all pretty stressed out this week. She got sick suddenly, so we weren't prepared. If she had been old and in pain, we could have prepared and expected her death. It took me three days to come to terms with her situation and be okay with letting her go. How do you let go of a dog you've raised for eleven years? I didn't realize how much a part of my life she was until I received that phone call saying she was dying.

(Probably 2 or 3 years old.)

Today, I feel fine, but I'm still depressed. Just thinking about that empty doghouse and food bowl makes my chest tighten.

In her last days, she had such a hard time breathing that she didn't have enough energy to do much else. As hard as it was to watch that first needle, I know she is living peacefully somewhere else. No leashes. No collars. Plenty of squirrels to chase.

I love you, May.

(On Monday, at the vet's office.)