is it christmas yet?

the question i'm really asking is, "is it christmas already?" cheese and rice.

we've given ourself this week to figure out who (to buy gifts for) and what (to get them), and then use saturday and sunday for shopping. we're cutting it pretty close but... i am definitely not a holiday person.

or perhaps, i lack spirit.

in other utterly important news, i am reading what is the what by david eggers. i was turned on to eggers by mike. i never got around to finishing you shall know our velocity, but i do mean to. it's... somewhere. it was actually quite good (the part i managed to read), and i will finish it. eventually. but for now, i need to sate my obsession with the lost boys of sudan. i saw "god grew tired of us" a few weeks ago with ryan. ever since, i have been doing my darnedest to get out the word about the movie. many of my kids are interested in seeing it. i look forward to incorporating it into the year with 10th graders.

anyway, what is the what should be on your reading list.

off i go to flit around in the living room to the song for our first dance.

if i just lay, if i just lay here,
would you lie with me
and just forget the world?

delayed chaos

my family has always been... crazy. crazy but fun. this year, i didn't spend thanksgiving with them here. ryan and i drove up to new york to spend the holiday with his parents. i knew what i was getting into -- we had a quiet thanksgiving. it was a stark contrast to the talking, laughing, joking, dancing, singing, playing my family does at the holidays.

one of my family's traditions at thanksgiving is to play cards. we usually play 31, which we learned a few years back and have been obsessed with playing. the two with the lowest scores have to buy ice cream for our new year's party. then, we play again that day and plan for next thanksgiving. i missed the card playing and the ice cream. undoubtedly, i missed out on victoria dancing and/or singing, which never ceases to entertain anyone!

it wasn't until last thursday, as i sat on the couch and watched the macy's thanksgiving parade, that i was finally thankful for a big family.

in spite of our differences.

very married

it's been a hectic month of adjusting to each other's constant presence. :) i love being married. i can be crazy and domestic. i've been doing lots of laundry, cooking, cleaning, organizing, shopping.

we have yet to meet with the photog about designing our album and getting our pictures from him. the pictures were great because we had so much fun at the reception. and i didn't even have to get drunk! :P

time to relax some...

tomorrow i get married

it's been a long week--a lot of frustrations, but i'm glad that part of it is over.

my dad apologized for the things he said... i can leave with peace of mind.

tomorrow, i add "wife" to my list of titles.

are we there yet?

it's been a long week, but i have another long week ahead. this being the last week before the wedding, i am starting to feel the pressure of orchestrating this event. we have pretty much everything set, except the centerpieces. there's also the matter of place cards and the program, which i spent twelve hours creating today. whew.

ryan's out with ken tonight, having his last hurrah. i've been trying not to think about it. :) he hasn't really had some time to do guy things in a long time, especially since i take up this weekends. he mentioned something about going to the shooting range, which sounds pretty cool. ken hadn't made any plans to go to a strip club, but ryan and i both know that they will probably end up at one because you just end up places when ken is driving.

with only eight days left, i am getting a bit nervous. i know things will be great, especially since so many of my friends will be there. (this is where carena would interject with something about how ms. so-and-so should not have been invited because she can be a pretty shit friend. i agree, but whatever--gifts!) i'm determined to have fun. :)

i can't wait to lay down next to ryan again and fall asleep...

never ever...

...have i had as much fun as i did last night with carena, jules, mary, and yvonne!! ^_^ it should be illegal. alcohol (some), nudity (partial), groping (lots)... but, best of all, laughter (all night long)!

thank you, girls! i didn't think i'd enjoy my bachelorette party so much. :*)

pics up later.

why can't everyone be reliable?

for maybe the 6th time, the DJ for my wedding has cancelled our appointment. at this point, he is starting to look like a jackass because he comes up with one excuse or another not to meet. now, you have to understand, i don't have lots of time to drive all the way out to leesburg to meet him. (he's driving there from martinsburg, wv.) at least he has stopped putting "lol" in his emails. that was pretty juvenile.

and in other news...

-__- i don't know if it's the change in weather and season, or what... but i've been feeling mighty blue recently... tears and all.

i need a vacation.

four-hour erections?

LOL have you seen the VW commercial with the two middle-aged guys talking about four-hour erections right before they crash?

silly.

you read my mind

yea, me too.

credit card fraud isn't scary until you're the one who just lost money

i checked my account today to see how much money i had. i noticed there was almost $800 less than i had just a few days ago. i put gas in my car and bought tomato sauce at giant--not worth $800.

i felt like i had been punched in the face. i called my bank to cancel my card, and they were nice enough to refund the money. apparently, someone had tried to register a half dozen domain names with godaddy.com. i call them, and they said someone in the billing department had already flagged the account as suspicious. they blocked the account and said someone from billing would get back to me with the specifics.

:|

now i have no card until the end of next week.

i have a grand total of... wait for it... wait for it...

3 cents in my wallet.

wonderful.

so now i hate the anti-christians

you know, it's one thing to leave a comment on someone's blog--short, sweet, get your point across.

but i don't know why you would post some angry diatribe posing as a comment, when in fact you actually agree with what i'm saying. why would you preface it with (i paraphrase), "you are dumb. this is the truth, so all you dumb people won't be so dumb anymore."

get off your high horse and smell the roses. we all know that money, religion, and politics are intertwined. all corrupt, all shady, all out to ruin the world. blah blah fucking blah.

god called.

he said, "shove it up your ass, you dumbfuck."

p.s. copying and pasting directly from your own blog entry is pathetic.

p.p.s. having the same "entry" on multiple websites is also pathetic.

p.p.p.s. you should eat ice cream every now and then. it tends to calm you down.

why don't most people get that their "christianity" is a scam?

it has always bothered me that supposed "christians" are the most unscrupled, self-promoting people in the world. "Does God want you to be rich?" are you serious? i don't consider myself to be christian, and i've never studied the bible extensively, but even i know that nowhere in the bible does it say God wants his children to reap the spoils of the world.

it bothers me that these so-called christians claim that God did not want them to live in poverty or to be ugly. wtf? maybe He never wished for you to be that way, but it certainly is one way to understand your faith. remember the story of Job? he was tested over and over again, but he remained faithful. before his trials, he was "rich": he had a family, he had land, he was happy. that was his prosperity.

fuck you, joel osteen. why do people have to give you their money to feel like good christians? wouldn't they be better christians by giving their money to a more deserving cause, like UNICEF? how about disaster relief? where were you when katrina hit? all cozy and snuggled up on your bear skin rug in front of a roaring fireplace as adoring young females fed your grapes in your mansion? -__-

if you are part of this prosperity movement, you are stupid. there's just nothing else to call you. you don't want to feel bad about being rich and what you did to get there, so you reinterpret the bible to your satisfaction.

God called.

He said, "Fuck you and your money."

heaven's waiting for those that sacrifice and give more of themselves than they take.

that is all.

why korean girls are whores

Sex expo lingerie models barred from South Korea

SEOUL (Reuters) - A South Korean sex trade show promised foreign women in steamy underwear, striptease acts and sex seminars but had to cancel the performances after losing its lingerie models to immigration laws, organizers said on Thursday.

The 2006 Seoul Sex Education Expo, dubbed Sexpo, opened on Thursday, however, with plenty of sex toys, lotions and audiovisual material.

"Immigration officials warned us if the models performed without having obtained the appropriate visa, they could be subject to deportation," a Sexpo official said.

An immigration official said models from places such as Australia were planning to enter the country on tourist visas, but they needed performance visas.

The event, which runs through Sunday, had been heavily advertised.

Several male visitors were angry about seeing so many inflatable plastic women on display and no real ones.

"I came here for a show and all I have is this leaflet about sex toys. What's going on here?" said one man in his mid-60s who asked not to be identified.

Sexpo has been held in other parts of Asia but civic groups in South Korea had pressed authorities to close the show on the grounds that it was offensive.

South Korea, however, already has a large and vibrant sex industry.

© Reuters 2006. All Rights Reserved.

today i enjoyed a tax-free weekend in maryland

the absolute joy of tax-free shopping! i could have gone crazy and bought everything i wanted, but i have things like small paychecks, bills, and a wedding in the way. i still did a lot of shopping. "teacher clothes." walking into ann taylor, ryan said, "oh, yea... that's teacher clothes." :P i got a bunch of nice tops, two pants, and a really cute jacket. ryan got a bunch of shirts and a jacket as well. we did very well. :) ah... i feel good.

together we mark another year

happy third anniversary, sweetie. :)

i miss the way we used to flirt

remember the silly grins, giggles, and innuendo?

i feel guilty when i do it with other guys...

well-designed fitness plans

...probably don't involve missing meals. i forgot to eat dinner last night - it's easy when you have someone sitting on top of you and holding you down.

;)

happiness was never meant to be an easy objective

some people were destined to make the path difficult, break you down as much as you can stand, build walls and trapdoors at every turn...

but now, i can see happiness just down the road, off in the distance but nonetheless visible... within reach.

i trudge, trudge, trudge.

<3

inappropriate conversations at work

me: hey, did you get a haircut?
mike: yea. *nudge* everywhere. *wink*

commercials are great

like the coke commercial where a man and woman depart after what's obviously a first date. he drinks a coke as he walks away, but then he suddenly turns back and runs to kiss her. *sigh*

why was it so easy for you to say no?

your explanation was weak...

and it hurt.

i had picked up the phone and dialed your number, believing there was no other possible answer than yes. "yes!" "of course!" "absolutely!"

but you said, "i'd be honored, but we haven't talked in two years." a big fat no.

i had to hold back the tears because i had been let down. no, pushed down. kicked. i wanted to ask you why because, to me, two years of silence from you could be overlooked when weighed against the other fifteen friendly ones we had. the birthdays. the stolen spoons. the bowling ball theft. the late-night study groups. the stupid drama of camp. the calculus.

was it good for you?

i called on your birthday. i drove to see you once a month.

you sent me a birthday card once, but it was so forced i didn't keep it. you came to see me once because i called to tell you how much i hated being the one to keep the friendship alive. you stayed for an hour. even so, i still thought of you as a friend. i visited you in the summer when you were 45 minutes away. i helped you babysit because i thought it would be fun. i had fun, didn't you?

i've called and left messages before, but i never heard from you. should i have taken that as a hint?

perhaps this relationship was doomed from the start. i always felt i had to do more, be more, so i wouldn't feel lonely ever again. perhaps i thought we were more than we really were.

have we spiraled into nothing but acquaintances?

is this goodbye?

would it be vindictive of me not to invite you to my wedding now?

don't you love my updates?

i know you do!

• i need to be better about getting to the gym... and staying there. :D
• i finalize the contract for our wedding location on friday.
• my mom's cousin's kids are coming to visit for a couple weeks. i have never met them before. they are from guatemala (a lot of korean people there). do i speak to them in spanish? korean? some strange, incomprehensible mix of the two?
• tom is flying up tomorrow to get the rest of his stuff.
• i leave for atlanta on sunday at 7 am. yay, we all look forward to waking up at the buttcrack of morning to catch a flight to one of the hottest cities in the country for a week of conferences with other teachers. fun.
• my awesome bridesmaids are planning a bachelorette party involving a naked stripper, alcohol, and ME. what a combo! (paulo, if you read this, pretend you didn't see it. seriously.)
• i can't wait to be married! ^_^

and finally, a 12-inch penis can be funny.

so are abandoned dildos.

happy 4th!

i sold my soul for $20/hour

[sigh] today was the first day of "eight weeks of dealing with immature 12-14 y.o. boys who have retarded haircuts." i don't know how i'm going to survive this year; at least last year, i had mostly girls. i can deal with estrogen, but a roomful of testosterone is unbearable. this is a break-down of the group:

• peter - "what time is it? ms. kim, do you know what time it is? this is boring."
  
• stephen - "i don't know any of this stuff. i'm only going to 7th grade."
• jason - "this is boring."
• jeff - "this is boring."
• earl - ...i know he will be that piece of coal jammed up my ass, except it will not be a diamond at the end of the summer.
• cody - "...and then she went to the airport and the lady asked for the tickets but she didn't have them and so she went home and the old lady said..." &c.
• josh - :) one of my favorites from last summer.

all boys... it makes me want to cry. i need to put my foot down and crack the whip tomorrow. apparently, they call me the devil because i gave them homework today. haha, they have no idea...

so anyway, i don't feel as excited about working as i did last year. mike and janet are the only ones back, and honestly, without the energy of jacob, raymond, sandy, and daniel, it's a bit quiet. oh, and ben! haha. as weird and creepy as he was, he was fodder for our jokes.

in other news, wedding planning is... bumpy. we still don't have a location decided, although we really liked belmont. my parents have been unhelpful and unsupportive through this process. they want things done according to their divine plan, which clashes in every aspect with mine. it's a miracle i got the dress that i wanted, although that took a lot of angry snipes from me and hours of pouting in my room. i can't take care of any other arrangements until we have a location set because all these people need to know when and where before they can guarantee anything. the only problem with belmont is that it is located about an hour from here. i'm going to talk to the catering director at mount vernon tomorrow and see if there's anything available around the time we want. it's a compromise if we have it there, but at least it's nice and old-timey. :P we'd get some great photos outside of the inn. next up: photographer, flowers, get working on table pieces. (do i have any of those former creative juices left?)

going go the gym's going well. (alliteration!) i only missed saturday. i did 1.5 miles today nonstop, that's getting back to where i was last year. off to a good start. i should look great in the dress by october. :)

despite all the flooding and damage caused by the last 4 days of torrential downpours, i rather like the rain...

time to get fit!... again!

went to the gym today. it's been... two years? yea. :P BUT... my mile time is still the same. that was surprising, no doubt. :) anyway, i was drenched in sweat after 30 minutes of running, so i came home. plus, my shoes weren't very comfortable. i'll have to remember my other shoes for tomorrow.

tomorrow i'm running the teachers' meeting at the academy, which could be interesting. we'll see. i've also got a STAR meeting from 8-3 (yaaay...).

busy busy...

oh yea. i also fixed the problems i was having with firefox and cnn's website. i'm awesome. ^_^

all it took was a dress

...for it to seem so real.

:) i got a dress that i'm happy with and absolutely DDDYYYIIINNNGGG to wear. i can't wait to see ryan's face. maybe it'll be beautiful enough he won't want to get it off me. ;)

who am i kidding? he has his own agenda.

we met one of the photographers we were considering. the only thing i don't like about his package is it doesn't offer the parent albums. i wonder how much it would cost to get those myself... tomorrow i'm meeting with another photographer, who had a great all-inclusive package (albums and all). i'm leaning more towards her. but... the guy we met today had a pink shirt on, so... :P it's hard to say which impressed me more--his portfolio or his shirt.

one more location tour tomorrow, and we'll have to decide by saturday. that way we can ensure we have somewhere to do this! :)

[insert picture of me in the wedding dress that ryan can't see] ;)

is it any wonder i'm shy?

...

oh, how i've missed you!

Coming to FOX this fall! Mondays @ 9pm to be precise. ^_^

Until then, I will anxiously anticipate the arrival of my QAF Season 5 DVDs, which I will watch over and over again, and then watch a few more times.

I haven't forgotten about my other Hollywood love... He has two movies this summer--"The Lake House" and "A Scanner Darkly," both of which I plan on seeing. :D

(Does this count as an emotional affair?)

on your mark, get set...

plan! :D

well, we closed and did all the fancy paperwork for the condo. we've had a major change in plans, and i've moved back home for the time being. ryan's at the condo, enjoying his last few months as a single man. ;) i've got some of my stuff over there, but i won't be living with him until we get married. (long story.)

mark your calendars for oct. 7! ^_^ (at least, for now.)

should i feel this tired all the time?

i thought i had a lot of copying to do...but then i remembered that i didn't. i swore for a few seconds while i stood in the copy room by myself, before i realized it was probably echoing down the hallway. chances are i was the only one in the building at that god-awful hour, but i didn't want to risk it. you never know who is going to saunter by.

my back hurts. we did a lot of walking and sitting this weekend. saturday, we walked from here to best buy (about 2 miles). it was interesting to see how this city really is not designed around pedestrians. we encountered some rather perilous dirt paths. it was funny to see ryan tentatively clinging the back of the guard rail as we made our way. :) we made it to best buy in one piece. we took a different route back, it was much easier and less dangerous.

on sunday, we went to sterling to look at some furniture. sit, stand, sit, stand, sit, stand, comment about the many ways one can have sex on all those sofas, sit, stand.

fingers crossed, we close next week.

do we really need another reason to laugh at goth kids?

Goth Youths Prone to Suicide Attempts and Self-Mutilation

i hate kids who copy everyone else so they can be different. :P

we're buying a condo!

:) our bid was accepted by the seller, so now we're getting all the paperwork and pre-closing stuff done. today, we had the inspection (ken came with me) and everything looked good.

how exciting! our own place. :)

<3

do you know what time of year it is?

happy birthday to me! :)

thanks sugar. ;)

sometimes life comes at you fast

(is that the visa tag line?)

exhausted. excited. expectant. all in a weekend.

exhausted...
we spent most of the day going to some open houses and checking out condos. we saw some really nice ones, some overpriced ones, and some that were stuck in another decade. we didn't see anything that wowed us, but one came pretty close. there's so much out there, and to think we only saw a handful of them. sheesh.

excited...
getting a condo will mean i get to live with ryan. :) no more long weeks of waiting or driving in traffic for an hour to see him. our first major step together... does this mean he's growing up? :P (well, i think i'm a little more grown up than he is. boys like to take their time.)

expectant...
not in the baby department. however, i do feel like i've given birth to a new ryan. i have to do a lot of literal and figurative pushing. ;) he's grown a lot in the time we've been together... we both have. i can't wait to see how great of a husband (and, eventually, father) he will be. i only hope and expect the best.

i've now moved past the days of doodling ryan's name in the corners of my papers to saying my future name out loud and debating whether to use it at school. i'll see a lot of my present students around in the hallways next year, and i'll always be "ms. kim" to them. would they find "mrs. connell" weird? even to me it's weird. :P i could continue with my maiden name at work. people would have an easier time remembering. well that's something to be decided later.

i've made love to the toilet

*barf* i've been sick... so sick. i've lost count the number of times i've had to stick my face in the toilet.

no i am not pregnant. as wondeful as that would be, i don't think anyone besides me would want that. :P

my dad was sick like this last weekend, and so were my cousins. whatever awful ailment they had, i now have. hopefully it won't last much longer. i had to call in sick today because there was no way i'd make it through an entire day like this.

we've also been in the process of looking for a condo. we've just been browsing, but ryan's working on finding a realtor to help us. it's exciting that we're taking our first major step together. :)

i can't keep my eyes off of you

being in love is a fantastic feeling.

like eating jelly beans all day.

but better.

the best part of a fantasy is not the buildup

it's the actualization! :)

that being said, i am engaged. isn't that dandy?

^_^

(okay, so it happened on saturday but it's really tuesday right now. i have to do this so i remember. but... who could i forget?)

i love you, ryan.

today, the people at hallmark are laughing at us

but i participate, so they laugh at me too. :)

happy valentine's day

february is always a month full of surprises

i talked to matt the other day... the first time in over a year. i can't even remember the last time we talked, but then he disappeared. (translation: he went to iraq.) i'm glad he's back, all fingers and toes intact. he's married and has a kid now. :) whoddathunk?

and of course, valentine's day is coming. :D

and...

mrs.
-
ryan
-
connell
-
to
-
be
.

^^

i think i had too much cheesecake

rachael ray made me do it. i found her recipe for quick and easy cheesecake, and i had a full bowl of her delicious cheesecake.

i eat too much.

and...

i am ashamed to admit i like "the notebook."

who doesn't want to look like this?

i sure do...

*sigh*

what a beauty.

the nigerians have spread their awesomeness to china

i got an email fro "cho wang" (LOL). he wants to share his money with me.

From: "cho wang" (cho wang@msn.com)
To: j***************@yahoo.com
Subject: please get back to me

Dear Sir/ Madam,

I represent Shanghai Secco Petrochemical Co. Ltd,My name is Cho Wang, Managing Direstor.(SSP.ch) China.We deal on importation and exportation of rawmaterials and petrochemical products into Canada,America andEurope.

We are looking for a representative who can help ourcompany collect money been owed by our customers in,Europe,America,andCanada.

Please if you are interested in transacting businesswith our companysubject to your satisfaction and in view of yourworking with us, wewill be very glad to hear from you.

You shall be entitled to 10% of any payment youcollect on behalf of our company.For further information Contact us, If this proposalis acceptable to you.

You will be required to forward to us the underlistedinformation:CONTACT ADDRESSES:...........FULL NAMES:............................PHONE AND FAX NUMBER:.........

Best regards,
Cho L. Wang
MD.(SSP. ch)
China.

no, i do not want your chinese money.

i need something interesting to do because my life is so boring

seriously.

at times like this, i wish i lived in a city. so much to do.

speaking of cities, my cousin amy is in town this week. she flew in from los angeles on saturday. i haven't seen her since she moved away years ago. possibly 14 years ago? good to see her, she's someone i can talk to, knowing she'd understand what i'm saying. she came to see her boyfriend (possible future husband) david. she's really short, he's really tall - it's a sight. they're been dating for three months. it's probable they will get married.

waiting for my turn... :P