so random

i noticed a guy walking through the parking lot in my direction as i was heading in to the mall. all of a sudden, he says, "hey jessica." i froze because i didn't know who he was. i thought for a while, then i figured out who it was. it was matt. he looked so different from the way i remembered him. definitely heavier.

i can't believe he recognized me. well, i guess i don't look all the different. :P

take me away

how do people live as long as they do with their parents? how did i even manage to stay here this long? i hate coming to this house. each day i get angrier. each day i remember all the pain i've felt. each day i realize i've been the good obedient daughter for too long.

i am leaving september 17.

the little girl inside can finally smile.

is that macy's?

seriously. i can see the macy's across the street from where i will soon be living. :D i'm a couple signatures away from living in mclean... a seven minute walk from tyson's II, a fifteen minute walk from tyson's I. all the cheesecake factory, maggiano's, and p.f. chang's i can eat. :P

*sigh* yet still sad...

moving out

i saw a place tonight that i liked and couldn't walk away from it without knowing i could have it. i'm going back tomorrow evening to sign the lease.

the one thing that saddens me the most? leaving my dog. my parents have always threatened to get rid of her if we left. as long as i was here, those threats never surfaced, but now that i've decided to move out, i don't know what will happen to her. my parents are leaving for korea in two weeks and won't be back for a month. i can always come by every day and see to her needs, but what about after my parents get home? what then? it kills me to think i won't ever see her again. she's been a part of my life since i was 15. i've grown so attached to her. when i used to come home for the weekend when i was in college, she was the first one i had to see as soon as i walked in the door. i'm going to miss her so much. :'(

i sent a text message to my brother, letting him know what was happening over the next few weeks and that he needs to figure something out for her. technically she is his dog, and he has never taken care of her. i've been the one to feed her, wash her, take her out to play, take her to the vet - she's the very needy little sister i never had. the thought of leaving her behind is making me cry...

at the same time, i am very excited that i am leaving. i will miss this house, it has been my home for 17 years. i've grown up in this house. but it's time for me to leave. i'm 24, i need my own space, and i need my own life. the plans i came up with for my life when i was 18 haven't quite worked out the way i wanted, but i'll make do with what i've got and hope things start to happen. maybe i won't have to give up my dreams...

still...

i love you, baby girl. i'm going to miss you. <3

i've cried enough this week.

xmas wishlist

i'm depressed and i'm bored. that gave me time to think about what i want for xmas. i'll probably end up buying it all for myself anyway.

(check right side module)

mike is stalking me

i had a conversation with mike. i learned:

mike: i also stalked your name off that flickr site
me: you stalk me a lot
mike: yea sorry bad habit

:: a testament to my awesomeness::
mike: so after you and jacob left, it was no fun
me: sorry i had bigger things to do ;)
mike: yea yea

*sigh* i miss my summer job... the lack of accountability is so seductive.

fall plans

well, i think i'm going to move out sometime in the next several weeks. maybe by october. this is one place i'm looking at this weekend: http://the-rotonda.com./24.htm. look at that place. it looks like a resort. :) it's only 5 miles from work, which is a huge plus. i'm checking out another place in falls church. it's also 5 miles from work, but it's closer to bailey's xroads. i like the first place better because it's north of work, meaning i'll be that much closer to ryan. :D

let's see when this happens.

you're still the one

you're still the one i run to, the one that i belong to.
you're still the one i want for life.
you're still the only that i love, the only one i dream of.
you're still the one i kiss goodnight... <3

it sucks to be sad, but we get through it.

i love you.

enigmas

life is confusing. you expect something, but it doesn't happen the way you want. or things happen that shouldn't, but there's no way of stopping them.

people are confusing. their mouths say one thing, but their actions say something completely different. you want to believe their mouths, but actions speak louder than words.

at almost-25, should i still be this unsure of myself? -__-

where am i headed? do i let go of everything i want to keep what i have?

a veces, no entiendo nada...

my last day

"when is your last day? you keep coming here." ~jacob :P

i went to PEI on thursday and friday. thursday i finished orientation at 11:30, so i met everyone for lunch at five guys. (i talked with mike about his job search, it sounded like good news, but as of yesterday, it still seemed uncertain. i hope everything works out for him.) later i went with everyone back to work. mike needed to make some phone calls, so i helped him out with his class. i read and discussed an article with them, which was completely over their heads. mike and i ended up just hanging out with the kids for the last hour.

friday i drove over at 3:00 after orientation, and we all went out for happy hour. janet was supposed to come, but she forgot. mike's gf kaitlyn (caitlyn?) came. anyway, we had so much fun making jokes about our waiter, who was really weird. what we figured were his attempts at being funny just seemed really rude. just the highlights of our awesome hour:
- daniel's five glasses of fruit punch (hahaha...)
- $MR$CHIP ("you guys should grow up")
- jacob trying to drink out of the water pitcher ("man, you can't do that!")
- story about hippie mike :P
- making fun of mr. jeong
- "hey, where's ben?"
- david and jacob simultaneously hitting their heads on the overhead lamps

dude... life will be so boring without seeing them everyday. :P i hope i can get there next friday. we totally need to take a goofy group pic. throwing gang signs or something, haha.

six flags

small park, but a lot of fun. :) i ended up spending the whole day with mike, dj, and david. halfway through the day, all our kids wanted to go to the water park, so we ditched them and went on rides. we are such awesome chaperones! :P we had a lot of fun. mike and i mostly talked about work and his options. we also ended up having to pay for our lunches because there weren't enough vouchers for some reason.

the low point of the day was finding out raymond's bookbag was stolen. he was so upset, it was hard for the rest of us to know what to do or say. there really wasn't much we could do for him except give him some company while he walked around. we stuck around for about half an hour longer than we planned because we had to figure out how we were going to bring back the kids that he had driven. it all worked out, though. raymond's brother was going to drive up there with the spare key for his car, but raymond just wanted to get his camera and ipod back. i feel so bad for him... i hope there's some good news tomorrow.

anyway, i didn't get to take any pictures because our group was so big, and they were just scattered all the time. oh well. i've taken plenty up to now. :)

i'm going to miss you guys!

*sniffle*

well, yesterday was my last official day of teaching. it was sad. *sigh* some of the kids kept saying, "Noooo!" and asking me to stay. :P liars, all of you!

i went today after i finished with the HR orientation. the kids were all standing in the front entrance, and they swarmed me as soon as i walked in. all the teachers looked exhausted. raymond and mike said it had been absolutely chaos today. see what happens when i'm not there? ;) i chatted with the teachers, and we figured out tomorrow's trip to six flags.

i'm going to miss working with everyone. :)



man, we're hot.

and these are my girls:

surviving the eastern shore

awesome weekend, despite having been on the eastern shore. ;)

thursday... we got there around 4:30ish. hit some traffic on the way up (on WW bridge), coasted the rest of the way. we got a little lost in the area where the inn was because the street signs were confusing or just not there. :P we figured it all out though. we showered because we were pretty nasty from the hot drive. then we walked around and checked out what there was to do. evidently, not much, haha. everything was closed. we ended up getting dinner at safeway (giant sub, two sparkling waters). turned in for the night.

friday... got up early and ate an awesome breakfast. quiche, coffee cake, fruit, cereal, fresh OJ... seriously, quiche?? i'm going to miss the breakfast. we did some more walking around. we stopped at the Old Towne Creamery and got some ice cream. i got to see another asian girl, so it was fun. :P i didn't feel so alone. we checked out a chocolate shop, i was very tempted but didn't end up buying any. we went back and took a nap. then we had dinner at Legal Spirits. food was delicious. :) we eventually went back to safeway to get something to drink. it started to pour while we were in there, so we had to wait it out. the rain slowed after about 20 minutes. we got strawberries and cool whip too... and ate all of it in one sitting. :D we hung out for a couple hours, then called it a night.

saturday... another awesome breakfast. no quiche, but there were these yummy little sausage things. we made fun of the other couple at breakfast, then checked out the farmer's market. ryan got some hot sauce and marinade, and some white peaches. then we drove up to st. michael's (it's a little town west of easton). we walked around a bit, made fun of people. there were these iron things sticking out of the ground by the water. i wanted to bend over next to one of them (with my butt on one of the pointy ends), but there were too many people around. :P i don't think ryan would have let me do that anyway. (party pooper.) we had lunch at The Crab Claw restaurant. there was a bit about it on food network, so i wanted to try it. we ordered a dozen steamed crabs and got through ten of them. :D so yummy. i'd do it again, it was so worth it. we got back, relaxed for a while, then had dinner downstairs. that was THE fanciest dinner i've ever had. all complicated. went upstairs afterward, hung out, went to bed. :)







drove home sunday morning after breakfast (again, hardy and so yummy!). uneventful. i fell asleep on the couch watching family guy with ryan. oh, ryan got me this gorgeous watch. he's a mind reader - my other watch died. :P it's really cool, it recharges in the light. and he got me... something else, i can't really share. ;) i got him The Hitchhiker's Guide and both Family Guy box sets. :)

ah... i'll miss that big fluffy bed and the clawfoot tub. ;)

i love you <3 happy anniversary...

automatic vacation response

going away for the weekend with ryan. :) be good, kids. back sunday.

did you hear?

my old man is 24 today! :D

hey old man... i love you. ;)

no, really, i love you. <3 :)

august 2, 2005

happy 2nd anniversary... <3