Wednesday, October 31, 2007

hello world!

and this is our little sesame seed at 19 weeks. she's a mighty big baby. i have to push her out in a few months. oy.

Monday, October 22, 2007

it's a girl!

she likes to kick.

we haven't considered names yet, but we've been calling her sesame seed. ;) it was preferable to panda. we'll take it more seriously in a few months.

Monday, October 08, 2007

real dolls hitting the big screen?

who hasn't seen the BBC documentary called "love me, love my doll"? it's a strange look into the lives of men who love Real Dolls. (it's fun to explore the website. you can even make your dream woman or man!)

and the, about three minutes ago, i saw this movie trailer featuring a Real Doll.

i know what i'll be doing when that movie is released. :)

Friday, July 20, 2007


today, my mom and i went to the fairfax county animal shelter to donate what was left of my dog's food and treats. the lady at the desk was so grateful because they were short on dog food and treats. it felt good to help out those poor dogs.

maybe somewhere up there, you're looking down...

Sunday, July 15, 2007

it's only just beginning . . .

i thought i would love being pregnant--i've only ever seen happy pregnant women. just this week i've started to feel . . . strange. i don't feel hungry. well, maybe a loss of appetite is a better way to describe it. i can't tell if i'm hungry or nauseous. is this the morning sickness starting to kick in? i eat because i know it's time to eat, but it isn't usually satisfying. sometimes thinking about food turns me off to it.

i've also been extremely tired. getting up in the morning has gotten difficult. just this weekend, i've basically fallen asleep any time i haven't been actively doing something. my body feels heavy, like i'm constantly dragging myself around. i can't even imagine how heavy i'm going to feel in a few months. :X

of course, my mom has already become overprotective grandmother. she called on friday just to tell me to be careful with what i eat and do. i know she's just concerned and watchful, but it's hard to pretend i don't already know these things. like she said, all i need to do is say, "yes, mother," and let it pass. :)

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

we're having a baby!

we went to the ob/gyn yesterday to confirm. :) it was a strange experience, to say the least.

1. i had to give a urine sample. "everything you need is in the restroom," the nurse said. i expected to see those plastic cups with screw caps for urine, but all i saw were those opaque plastic dixie cups. i contemplated them for several seconds before deciding it was better than nothing. but, of course, i got more pee on my hand than in the cup.

2. the first thing the doc asked was, "do you like your mole?" huh? apparently he was referring to the one above my lip. "i have a fellowship in cosmetic surgery. i can take care of that." my ambivalence led him to ask my mom, who said, "i hate it." then he asked ryan, who admitted to liking it. "well, there's your answer," the doctor said.

3. "do you drink?" no. "do you smoke?" no. "do you smoke marijuana on the weekend but not inhale?" o_O

4. he asked us if we wanted to have some optional procedures done before and after the birth (e.g. amniocentesis), to all of which we said no. he also asked if we wanted to preserve the cord blood, which is an expensive decision. "i don't know why people do it," he added.

5. as he plays with my left nipple--"oh it looks fine, you should be able to breastfeed, no problem."

6. as his head disappears below my knees--"it looks pretty clean."

7. as the cervix comes into view--"oh, you're definitely pregnant. it's purplish."

8. "it's better to have a full bladder [for the sonogram]." thanks for telling me that AFTER i gave a urine sample.

he tried to do a sonogram, but, of course, there was nothing to see as i'm probably only 4 weeks along, which differs slightly from the nurse's opinion (6 weeks) and the doctor's (8 weeks). now, ryan and i know better than they do that i can't possibly be more than 4 weeks. come on, i know when we made the first attempt, and that was after the school year was over. i go back in four weeks for the next check-up, at which time (hopefully) i'll be able to see something on the sonogram. according to my calculations, i am due mid- to late march. yay!

Monday, July 09, 2007

several things of (minor) note

1. my DVDs came today and i danced along with shaun t.! it was hard because i have no rhythm. it also didn't help that my belly was jiggling.

2. i finished painting the dining room today! after letting the walls dry for several hours, i attempted to screw in the outlet covers, but i noticed that they didn't quite cover the rectangle i had taped. that just goes to show what a shitty job the previous owner did with painting, and adding strange a light switch just inches off the floor. (it doesn't do anything.) tonight we'll go to home depot and pick up some better outlet covers.

3. i received one of those annoying "hang up" calls--you know, when you answer and the person immediately hangs up. just out of curiosity, i googled the number to see where it came from, only to find a website where hundreds of people logged complaints about this same number! i added my own complaint (a mild one, considering i had only received one call from them). apparently, it is some company that conducts surveys about the radio (?). it's a cincinnati, ohio, number. most of the time, the company seems to hang up when you answer. the company also calls repeatedly whether or not you completed the survey. the company gives you the option of removing yourself from their phone list if you call them back, but it doesn't seem to actually remove you. the company also claims they are exempt from the FCC's "do no call" regulation because they are not selling or soliciting anything. i'll see what happens. will they call again?

4. i am excited for tomorrow. :)

Friday, July 06, 2007

do you smell paint?

well, since i've been painting the dining room, i smell paint all day long--no matter where i am. i should probably wear a mask to protect myself from the fumes. i keep my face far enough away that i'm not nosed against the wall. the color looks good in the light. it's "regal red". i worked on finishing the third wall, and started on a second coat on the walls i finished earlier this week. hopefully we can finish up the dining room tomorrow and move the table and chairs back.

i'm also BURSTING at the seams with excitement. :D i want to tell the world about it, but not just yet. i am seeing the doctor on tuesday, so we'll know for sure then. (hint, hint.) only a select few know the news, including my mother, who has suddenly started to care about my well-being. i pointed that out to her, to which she responded, "i always care about my daughter, but more now." thanks, mom. :|

i start a week-long summer "assignment" for the county, updating the high school english blackboard site. i'm not sure what this job entails, and i won't find out until tuesday. we have orientation that morning. my doctor's appointment is that afternoon, so i'll be cutting out a little early, or so i assume, since i don't know how long the hours are. it shouldn't be stressful, and i'll be able to contribute to something productive and useful to the entire county. :)

and i'm still waiting on my DVDs to arrive. hurry up already, i want to start dancing.

Friday, June 29, 2007

having the summer off isn't as great as you think

i thought i'd enjoy two-and-a-half months of nothing. how wrong was i? as my husband suggested, "you need to find a hobby." it's a fantastic idea except for my lack of interest in just about everything. :P i've thought about taking up a hobby since my first day of vacation, but nothing comes to mind--a bit pathetic, really.

i've considered taking a class at NOVA or through the county's rec centers this summer, but what to take? photography sounds fun, although i can already imagine the constant yabbering i'd get from my mother; she took photography for a few years, so, of course, she's an expert. it looks interesting. i had students take photography at school this past year, and they really enjoyed it. they took some beautiful photographs, many of them unintentionally intriguing. i think it's worth checking out.

one thing i am definitely going to do (again) is work out and lose weight. my original plan had been to register at sport & health because i get a nice discount for working for the county. then i realized we have free access to a gym at the HR building. but going there involves driving over to falls church. i figured out a temporary (or maybe permanent) solution by watching tv. i saw the infomercial for "hiphop abs" again and couldn't resist; i ordered the DVDs, which should be here next week. i can dance like an idiot in the privacy of my own home and lose weight all at the same time! i will also take up running again, as soon as i can. it would be nice if i had a running partner, but my husband wants nothing to do with my running. he absolutely refuses. he's no fun.

i do have books i want to read this summer. i should get on that.

Monday, June 11, 2007

i miss having a job

at least i knew what i'd be doing for most of the day. on the agenda today is shopping. i haven't been shopping for myself in a long time. . . several weeks? i want to check out steve & barry's. i definitely need to get a black dress too. i need to be prepared.

i think tomorrow i'll register at the gym across the street. i might as well--i'd like to lose more weight, after i lose the pounds i gained since the wedding. plus, it would give me something to do for two hours each day. (wow, that's ambitious.) perhaps if i set lower expectations, like an hour three times a day, then i'd feel better about myself for going more often.

we're driving up to new york this weekend to see ryan's parents. i believe our current plan is to stay a week; whether or not we stay longer will depend on how karen feels. i'd like to be able to help around the house so ed doesn't feel so burdened. erika will be there too, but she's leaving the next weekend for a girls' week at a lake nearby. she invited me, but that will depend entirely on how the week goes.

anyway, off to go shopping!

Friday, June 01, 2007

ben who?


that's right--he was the guest speaker at graduation today. there had been rumors for several months. "ben affleck is coming." "ben affleck is really coming." "is ben affleck even going to show?" "i like matt damon better."

several women in the department have been cooing and oohing about ben affleck, their biggest question being, "will he eat lunch with us?" well, it turns out, yes.

i had finished eating lunch and was chatting with some colleagues when i noticed a man in a suit walk into the reception room. i thought, "he's overdressed for this," and went back to discussing teachers who worked apparently worked in our school but we had never seen until today. suddenly people start shuffling toward the man, cameras come out. then i realized who he was. ben affleck.

you know, he isn't as tall as he looks on tv. i'd peg him at possibly six feet tall? i always imagined he was taller, but perhaps he's only relatively tall when he stands next to matt damon. he also wasn't as attractive as i expected. in fact, he looked pretty average. granted, he's more attractive than the average man in virginia, but still average.

the seniors were able to book ben affleck because he has a relationship (friendship) with one of our physically disabled students, joe. ben met joe years ago while filming "Forces of Nature" at Dulles Airport, and they've been friends since (with some help from the Make-a-Wish Foundation).

his speech wasn't awe-inspiring, but it was better than i expected. (obviously, i had very low expectations of his man.) he actually has a sense of humor, even inserting self-deprecating remarks about "Gigli" ("Joe liked the script for 'Daredevil' better than 'Gigli,' but he would never admit to it.") and "Forces of Nature." ben muttered occasionally, but overall, his speech was good. he joked about people who used famous people's quotes, then added that he apparently liked hypocrisy since he would be quoting someone famous too.

susanna was absolutely star-struck. she tried her best to contain her excitement and stay composed. :)

i still don't think he's a good actor, but he does good things for good kids. i'll give him a few points for that.

and thank you, ben, for making what was already a great day into the most memorable days of these students' lives.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

growing pains

(A few days after she came home.)

On Wednesday, May 2, at 4:00pm, our beloved May passed. She would have been eleven this month. We had to put her down to end days of pain she had endured due to chronic bronchitis and cancer.

We were all pretty stressed out this week. She got sick suddenly, so we weren't prepared. If she had been old and in pain, we could have prepared and expected her death. It took me three days to come to terms with her situation and be okay with letting her go. How do you let go of a dog you've raised for eleven years? I didn't realize how much a part of my life she was until I received that phone call saying she was dying.

(Probably 2 or 3 years old.)

Today, I feel fine, but I'm still depressed. Just thinking about that empty doghouse and food bowl makes my chest tighten.

In her last days, she had such a hard time breathing that she didn't have enough energy to do much else. As hard as it was to watch that first needle, I know she is living peacefully somewhere else. No leashes. No collars. Plenty of squirrels to chase.

I love you, May.

(On Monday, at the vet's office.)

Thursday, April 19, 2007

tragedy begets ignorance

Let me begin by saying I am horrified by this week's events. I grieve along with the nation.

I have tried to ignore many of the recent casual remarks about Cho Seung-Hui and South Koreans in general, but the baseless and ignorant comments are irritating.

Today, a professor at Virginia Tech, hypothesized that one of Cho's images from his "manifesto" might have been inspired by the movie "Oldboy." I resent this pathetic attempt at explaining Cho's actions. First of all, "Oldboy" is a critically acclaimed movie by a respected Korean director. Second, what the fuck was his reasoning behind this declaration? Apparently, anyone who holds a hammer above their heads is demonstrating a desire to dispatch a dozen men, and there's just no other explanation for it. Already, more enlightened and rational people have denounced this professor's theory as ridiculous. Seriously, what the hell? It's probable he found inspiration in movies, and even in the events at Columbine, but don't make stupid connections.

I bet this professor made that stupid connection because it was the only Korean movie he could think of. His rationale? "He's Korean, so he must have gotten his idea from a Korean movie. He must have seen it; he's Korean."

Ugh. You people disgust me.

Monday, April 16, 2007

korea is . . .

"spa-kur-ing," according to this new tv commercial. anyone else seen it? >.<

seriously, who was the brain behind this one? that the guy says "sparkling" in the thickest korean accent only makes the commercial worse. apparently, all korean people do is dance at clubs with bad lighting, wear clothes from the 1600s, and wear red at soccer games.

there is only one word to describe that.


Thursday, April 05, 2007

another year

well, it was my birthday a few days ago . . . i was at the in-laws for a few days. we had cake and i got a singing card. it would have been nice if i could have been here for my birthday; i know my parents would have liked it.

and of course, the good friends remembered. man, i need new friends . . .

i had to think about how old i would be, making me realize i'm getting old. seriously. 26? how often do you have to think about how old you are at 26? now i'm officially in my late 20s. i can look forward to 30. (haha.)

our wedding album is finally "in the works." the photog sent me a preview of the first 5 pages, and they look good. hopefully he can get them done before the end of the month. it would be a nice birthday present to give my mom.

this isn't much of a spring break . . . i feel busy.

Friday, March 23, 2007

i miss the inspiration . . .

perhaps it's illogical to miss depression . . . but who can deny its power to inspire? but i do enjoy being happy. :) we watched 2.2 of romeo and juliet (luhrmann) - i had forgotten how flushed i get watching that scene. hopelessly romantic? absolutely.

utterly random . . .

Monday, February 19, 2007

happy lunar new year!

technically, it is the year of the pig. but...

it should be the year of the panda. ^_^

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

happy valentine's day!

we don't have big plans for tonight--just dinner at home together. :) that isn't any different from our normal routine, but just knowing it's our first valentine's as a married couple makes it special. i thought about other things we could do, but i'd rather sit around in sweats with my unkempt hair eating a homemade dinner with my husband. :D we've conquered four months with just a handful of tiffs--what better to mark the occasion than to enjoy one another in the simplest of evenings.

today isn't about celebrating couples; it's about celebrating life. to all my unattached friends--do something for yourselves today, with the utmost sense of indulgence and satisfaction. embrace yourselves, love yourselves, and above all, seek happiness within.

valentine's day shouldn't be the one day of the year you tell your s.o. "i love you." say it every day. every night. in the car. at the supermarket. on the phone. by email. at the movies. in bed. all the time.

may everyone's snow day be filled with love. :)

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

carrrrrrrrne asada

you have to say it sexy.
carrrrrrrrrrrrne asada.


Friday, January 19, 2007

my life is boring

it's calming, really. i like being relaxed. it gives me time to do... lots of nothing. ideally, i'd take advantage of my time--i've got a stack of books on the dining table which i want to read. i could be planning my next units. i could obsessively clean the house, but i'm not depressed enough to do that. :)

we've got three months under our belts, and we're doing well. and there's nothing sweeter than that...

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

the death of an inventor

"inventor," perhaps? well, apparently the man who "invented" Cup Noodle (the Cup Noodle) has passed away. unfortunately, the Cup Noodle didn't go with him.

am i the only asian person in the world who hates Cup Noodle? it makes me gag more than...

anyway, it makes me gag. i prefer real instant noodles (oxymoron?) i can buy only in asian markets. i don't eat them much, considering i have no immediate wish to suffer a heart attack, but they taste better. drop in an egg and mmmm.

all across america, college students quietly mourn the death of their savior, they make a note of it in their instant messaging profiles/myspace blogs/live journals, they fly their boxers at half staff. (do you find that as funny as i do?)

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

why be coy?

being coy may work if you are a living, breathing female, but it doesn't work if you are a website advertising a service or product.

it's become a pet peeve. for instance, gym websites are notorious for those "come in and see us for a quote" lures. most of the time, the trip there isn't worth your time because they quote some exorbitant fees. the least they could do is give the rate for the most basic membership.

even the sunday ads are now using those same coy lures to get people in the stores. i haven't been able to figure out why prices for cases of soda have gone up so much in recent years. i remember when they were regularly $2; today on sale you're lucky to find $2 deals. but then the stores decide to be coy--"Check out our low price!" it says. yea well, check out my middle finger!

was this a pointless rant?
want to hear more? email me!