Monday, July 24, 2006

i miss the way we used to flirt

remember the silly grins, giggles, and innuendo?

i feel guilty when i do it with other guys...

Sunday, July 23, 2006

well-designed fitness plans

...probably don't involve missing meals. i forgot to eat dinner last night - it's easy when you have someone sitting on top of you and holding you down.


happiness was never meant to be an easy objective

some people were destined to make the path difficult, break you down as much as you can stand, build walls and trapdoors at every turn...

but now, i can see happiness just down the road, off in the distance but nonetheless visible... within reach.

i trudge, trudge, trudge.


Tuesday, July 18, 2006

inappropriate conversations at work

me: hey, did you get a haircut?
mike: yea. *nudge* everywhere. *wink*

Monday, July 17, 2006

commercials are great

like the coke commercial where a man and woman depart after what's obviously a first date. he drinks a coke as he walks away, but then he suddenly turns back and runs to kiss her. *sigh*

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

why was it so easy for you to say no?

your explanation was weak...

and it hurt.

i had picked up the phone and dialed your number, believing there was no other possible answer than yes. "yes!" "of course!" "absolutely!"

but you said, "i'd be honored, but we haven't talked in two years." a big fat no.

i had to hold back the tears because i had been let down. no, pushed down. kicked. i wanted to ask you why because, to me, two years of silence from you could be overlooked when weighed against the other fifteen friendly ones we had. the birthdays. the stolen spoons. the bowling ball theft. the late-night study groups. the stupid drama of camp. the calculus.

was it good for you?

i called on your birthday. i drove to see you once a month.

you sent me a birthday card once, but it was so forced i didn't keep it. you came to see me once because i called to tell you how much i hated being the one to keep the friendship alive. you stayed for an hour. even so, i still thought of you as a friend. i visited you in the summer when you were 45 minutes away. i helped you babysit because i thought it would be fun. i had fun, didn't you?

i've called and left messages before, but i never heard from you. should i have taken that as a hint?

perhaps this relationship was doomed from the start. i always felt i had to do more, be more, so i wouldn't feel lonely ever again. perhaps i thought we were more than we really were.

have we spiraled into nothing but acquaintances?

is this goodbye?

would it be vindictive of me not to invite you to my wedding now?

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

don't you love my updates?

i know you do!
  • i need to be better about getting to the gym... and staying there. :D
  • i finalize the contract for our wedding location on friday.
  • my mom's cousin's kids are coming to visit for a couple weeks. i have never met them before. they are from guatemala (a lot of korean people there). do i speak to them in spanish? korean? some strange, incomprehensible mix of the two?
  • tom is flying up tomorrow to get the rest of his stuff.
  • i leave for atlanta on sunday at 7 am. yay, we all look forward to waking up at the buttcrack of morning to catch a flight to one of the hottest cities in the country for a week of conferences with other teachers. fun.
  • my awesome bridesmaids are planning a bachelorette party involving a naked stripper, alcohol, and ME. what a combo! (paulo, if you read this, pretend you didn't see it. seriously.)
  • i can't wait to be married! ^_^
and finally, a 12-inch penis can be funny.

so are abandoned dildos.

happy 4th!