Am a bit stressed. It too shall pass.
As I entered my building, I noticed a package on top of the mailboxes. Not unusual since most deliveries that won't fit in the boxes are placed there. I would have glanced to check it wasn't ours and moved on, but... it was a paddle. A paddle covered in packing paper, criss-crossed with clear packing tape. Unmistakeably a paddle, as the paper and tape did little to disguise its shape. I didn't look closely enough to see the addressee.
Someone is either Greek... or into S&M.