moving out

i saw a place tonight that i liked and couldn't walk away from it without knowing i could have it. i'm going back tomorrow evening to sign the lease.

the one thing that saddens me the most? leaving my dog. my parents have always threatened to get rid of her if we left. as long as i was here, those threats never surfaced, but now that i've decided to move out, i don't know what will happen to her. my parents are leaving for korea in two weeks and won't be back for a month. i can always come by every day and see to her needs, but what about after my parents get home? what then? it kills me to think i won't ever see her again. she's been a part of my life since i was 15. i've grown so attached to her. when i used to come home for the weekend when i was in college, she was the first one i had to see as soon as i walked in the door. i'm going to miss her so much. :'(

i sent a text message to my brother, letting him know what was happening over the next few weeks and that he needs to figure something out for her. technically she is his dog, and he has never taken care of her. i've been the one to feed her, wash her, take her out to play, take her to the vet - she's the very needy little sister i never had. the thought of leaving her behind is making me cry...

at the same time, i am very excited that i am leaving. i will miss this house, it has been my home for 17 years. i've grown up in this house. but it's time for me to leave. i'm 24, i need my own space, and i need my own life. the plans i came up with for my life when i was 18 haven't quite worked out the way i wanted, but i'll make do with what i've got and hope things start to happen. maybe i won't have to give up my dreams...

still...

i love you, baby girl. i'm going to miss you. <3

i've cried enough this week.