random rants

i've had a blah day, which means i have a lot of rants:

• why do people in BMWs always have to talk on their phones while driving? there was a silver BMW on 66 this afternoon that narrowly missed colliding with the car in the right lane THREE times. she would gradually start drifting to the right and cross the line, then jerk her car back into her lane. i was behind her the whole time, and had to prepare myself either to break hard or swerve to avoid rear-ending her were she to hit that car. a fairly young guy in a black BMW cut me off, just missing the front corner of my car as i pulled off 66. he was talking on his phone. another silver BMW drifted in and out of its lane and into mine several times on the drive home. driving a BMW does NOT entitle you to drive like an asian woman. unless you ARE asian - then you just shouldn't be driving. (except for me.)
• when i talk, do you hear greek coming out of my mouth? or maybe swahili? apparently, i stop speaking english the second i step through the doors at work because the kids don't seem to understand anything i say. "please take out your homework." "huh?" "homework." "what?" >:| maybe i should just start instructing in spanish.
• i have a headache, and it makes me feel like i need to vomit.
• my parents... ugh.
• the stupid automated machine at the post office needs to offer more than 5 shipping choices. for the last time, NO, I DO NOT WANT TO SEND IT PARCEL POST.
• why does chicken take so damn long to cook?
• am i the only one that sees the irony in teaching conversation? honestly, people - just talk to other people. conversation cannot be taught. i can teach grammar. i can teach vocabulary. i can teach usage. i cannot teach conversation. i hate teaching ESL.
• lady, if you can't make your kid shut up and act like a normal human being, i will kick you in the shins. there is no excuse for letting your demon-possessed imp shout at the top of his lungs that he wants to buy swim trunks. you also need to teach him that it is impolite to look into other people's carts and ask, "mommy, what are tampons?"
• why the hell does the inside of my car smell like gasoline??

okay i think i'm done.