carrrrrrrrne asada

you have to say it sexy.
carrrrrrrrrrrrne asada.

lmfao

my life is boring

it's calming, really. i like being relaxed. it gives me time to do... lots of nothing. ideally, i'd take advantage of my time--i've got a stack of books on the dining table which i want to read. i could be planning my next units. i could obsessively clean the house, but i'm not depressed enough to do that. :)

we've got three months under our belts, and we're doing well. and there's nothing sweeter than that...

the death of an inventor

"inventor," perhaps? well, apparently the man who "invented" Cup Noodle (the Cup Noodle) has passed away. unfortunately, the Cup Noodle didn't go with him.

am i the only asian person in the world who hates Cup Noodle? it makes me gag more than...

anyway, it makes me gag. i prefer real instant noodles (oxymoron?) i can buy only in asian markets. i don't eat them much, considering i have no immediate wish to suffer a heart attack, but they taste better. drop in an egg and mmmm.

all across america, college students quietly mourn the death of their savior, they make a note of it in their instant messaging profiles/myspace blogs/live journals, they fly their boxers at half staff. (do you find that as funny as i do?)

why be coy?

being coy may work if you are a living, breathing female, but it doesn't work if you are a website advertising a service or product.

it's become a pet peeve. for instance, gym websites are notorious for those "come in and see us for a quote" lures. most of the time, the trip there isn't worth your time because they quote some exorbitant fees. the least they could do is give the rate for the most basic membership.

even the sunday ads are now using those same coy lures to get people in the stores. i haven't been able to figure out why prices for cases of soda have gone up so much in recent years. i remember when they were regularly $2; today on sale you're lucky to find $2 deals. but then the stores decide to be coy--"Check out our low price!" it says. yea well, check out my middle finger!

was this a pointless rant?
yes.
want to hear more? email me!

(groan)

is it christmas yet?

the question i'm really asking is, "is it christmas already?" cheese and rice.

we've given ourself this week to figure out who (to buy gifts for) and what (to get them), and then use saturday and sunday for shopping. we're cutting it pretty close but... i am definitely not a holiday person.

or perhaps, i lack spirit.

in other utterly important news, i am reading what is the what by david eggers. i was turned on to eggers by mike. i never got around to finishing you shall know our velocity, but i do mean to. it's... somewhere. it was actually quite good (the part i managed to read), and i will finish it. eventually. but for now, i need to sate my obsession with the lost boys of sudan. i saw "god grew tired of us" a few weeks ago with ryan. ever since, i have been doing my darnedest to get out the word about the movie. many of my kids are interested in seeing it. i look forward to incorporating it into the year with 10th graders.

anyway, what is the what should be on your reading list.

off i go to flit around in the living room to the song for our first dance.

if i just lay, if i just lay here,
would you lie with me
and just forget the world?

delayed chaos

my family has always been... crazy. crazy but fun. this year, i didn't spend thanksgiving with them here. ryan and i drove up to new york to spend the holiday with his parents. i knew what i was getting into -- we had a quiet thanksgiving. it was a stark contrast to the talking, laughing, joking, dancing, singing, playing my family does at the holidays.

one of my family's traditions at thanksgiving is to play cards. we usually play 31, which we learned a few years back and have been obsessed with playing. the two with the lowest scores have to buy ice cream for our new year's party. then, we play again that day and plan for next thanksgiving. i missed the card playing and the ice cream. undoubtedly, i missed out on victoria dancing and/or singing, which never ceases to entertain anyone!

it wasn't until last thursday, as i sat on the couch and watched the macy's thanksgiving parade, that i was finally thankful for a big family.

in spite of our differences.

very married

it's been a hectic month of adjusting to each other's constant presence. :) i love being married. i can be crazy and domestic. i've been doing lots of laundry, cooking, cleaning, organizing, shopping.

we have yet to meet with the photog about designing our album and getting our pictures from him. the pictures were great because we had so much fun at the reception. and i didn't even have to get drunk! :P

time to relax some...

tomorrow i get married

it's been a long week--a lot of frustrations, but i'm glad that part of it is over.

my dad apologized for the things he said... i can leave with peace of mind.

tomorrow, i add "wife" to my list of titles.

are we there yet?

it's been a long week, but i have another long week ahead. this being the last week before the wedding, i am starting to feel the pressure of orchestrating this event. we have pretty much everything set, except the centerpieces. there's also the matter of place cards and the program, which i spent twelve hours creating today. whew.

ryan's out with ken tonight, having his last hurrah. i've been trying not to think about it. :) he hasn't really had some time to do guy things in a long time, especially since i take up this weekends. he mentioned something about going to the shooting range, which sounds pretty cool. ken hadn't made any plans to go to a strip club, but ryan and i both know that they will probably end up at one because you just end up places when ken is driving.

with only eight days left, i am getting a bit nervous. i know things will be great, especially since so many of my friends will be there. (this is where carena would interject with something about how ms. so-and-so should not have been invited because she can be a pretty shit friend. i agree, but whatever--gifts!) i'm determined to have fun. :)

i can't wait to lay down next to ryan again and fall asleep...

never ever...

...have i had as much fun as i did last night with carena, jules, mary, and yvonne!! ^_^ it should be illegal. alcohol (some), nudity (partial), groping (lots)... but, best of all, laughter (all night long)!

thank you, girls! i didn't think i'd enjoy my bachelorette party so much. :*)

pics up later.

why can't everyone be reliable?

for maybe the 6th time, the DJ for my wedding has cancelled our appointment. at this point, he is starting to look like a jackass because he comes up with one excuse or another not to meet. now, you have to understand, i don't have lots of time to drive all the way out to leesburg to meet him. (he's driving there from martinsburg, wv.) at least he has stopped putting "lol" in his emails. that was pretty juvenile.

and in other news...

-__- i don't know if it's the change in weather and season, or what... but i've been feeling mighty blue recently... tears and all.

i need a vacation.

four-hour erections?

LOL have you seen the VW commercial with the two middle-aged guys talking about four-hour erections right before they crash?

silly.

you read my mind

yea, me too.

credit card fraud isn't scary until you're the one who just lost money

i checked my account today to see how much money i had. i noticed there was almost $800 less than i had just a few days ago. i put gas in my car and bought tomato sauce at giant--not worth $800.

i felt like i had been punched in the face. i called my bank to cancel my card, and they were nice enough to refund the money. apparently, someone had tried to register a half dozen domain names with godaddy.com. i call them, and they said someone in the billing department had already flagged the account as suspicious. they blocked the account and said someone from billing would get back to me with the specifics.

:|

now i have no card until the end of next week.

i have a grand total of... wait for it... wait for it...

3 cents in my wallet.

wonderful.

so now i hate the anti-christians

you know, it's one thing to leave a comment on someone's blog--short, sweet, get your point across.

but i don't know why you would post some angry diatribe posing as a comment, when in fact you actually agree with what i'm saying. why would you preface it with (i paraphrase), "you are dumb. this is the truth, so all you dumb people won't be so dumb anymore."

get off your high horse and smell the roses. we all know that money, religion, and politics are intertwined. all corrupt, all shady, all out to ruin the world. blah blah fucking blah.

god called.

he said, "shove it up your ass, you dumbfuck."

p.s. copying and pasting directly from your own blog entry is pathetic.

p.p.s. having the same "entry" on multiple websites is also pathetic.

p.p.p.s. you should eat ice cream every now and then. it tends to calm you down.

why don't most people get that their "christianity" is a scam?

it has always bothered me that supposed "christians" are the most unscrupled, self-promoting people in the world. "Does God want you to be rich?" are you serious? i don't consider myself to be christian, and i've never studied the bible extensively, but even i know that nowhere in the bible does it say God wants his children to reap the spoils of the world.

it bothers me that these so-called christians claim that God did not want them to live in poverty or to be ugly. wtf? maybe He never wished for you to be that way, but it certainly is one way to understand your faith. remember the story of Job? he was tested over and over again, but he remained faithful. before his trials, he was "rich": he had a family, he had land, he was happy. that was his prosperity.

fuck you, joel osteen. why do people have to give you their money to feel like good christians? wouldn't they be better christians by giving their money to a more deserving cause, like UNICEF? how about disaster relief? where were you when katrina hit? all cozy and snuggled up on your bear skin rug in front of a roaring fireplace as adoring young females fed your grapes in your mansion? -__-

if you are part of this prosperity movement, you are stupid. there's just nothing else to call you. you don't want to feel bad about being rich and what you did to get there, so you reinterpret the bible to your satisfaction.

God called.

He said, "Fuck you and your money."

heaven's waiting for those that sacrifice and give more of themselves than they take.

that is all.

why korean girls are whores

Sex expo lingerie models barred from South Korea

SEOUL (Reuters) - A South Korean sex trade show promised foreign women in steamy underwear, striptease acts and sex seminars but had to cancel the performances after losing its lingerie models to immigration laws, organizers said on Thursday.

The 2006 Seoul Sex Education Expo, dubbed Sexpo, opened on Thursday, however, with plenty of sex toys, lotions and audiovisual material.

"Immigration officials warned us if the models performed without having obtained the appropriate visa, they could be subject to deportation," a Sexpo official said.

An immigration official said models from places such as Australia were planning to enter the country on tourist visas, but they needed performance visas.

The event, which runs through Sunday, had been heavily advertised.

Several male visitors were angry about seeing so many inflatable plastic women on display and no real ones.

"I came here for a show and all I have is this leaflet about sex toys. What's going on here?" said one man in his mid-60s who asked not to be identified.

Sexpo has been held in other parts of Asia but civic groups in South Korea had pressed authorities to close the show on the grounds that it was offensive.

South Korea, however, already has a large and vibrant sex industry.

© Reuters 2006. All Rights Reserved.

today i enjoyed a tax-free weekend in maryland

the absolute joy of tax-free shopping! i could have gone crazy and bought everything i wanted, but i have things like small paychecks, bills, and a wedding in the way. i still did a lot of shopping. "teacher clothes." walking into ann taylor, ryan said, "oh, yea... that's teacher clothes." :P i got a bunch of nice tops, two pants, and a really cute jacket. ryan got a bunch of shirts and a jacket as well. we did very well. :) ah... i feel good.

together we mark another year

happy third anniversary, sweetie. :)

i miss the way we used to flirt

remember the silly grins, giggles, and innuendo?

i feel guilty when i do it with other guys...

well-designed fitness plans

...probably don't involve missing meals. i forgot to eat dinner last night - it's easy when you have someone sitting on top of you and holding you down.

;)

happiness was never meant to be an easy objective

some people were destined to make the path difficult, break you down as much as you can stand, build walls and trapdoors at every turn...

but now, i can see happiness just down the road, off in the distance but nonetheless visible... within reach.

i trudge, trudge, trudge.

<3

inappropriate conversations at work

me: hey, did you get a haircut?
mike: yea. *nudge* everywhere. *wink*

commercials are great

like the coke commercial where a man and woman depart after what's obviously a first date. he drinks a coke as he walks away, but then he suddenly turns back and runs to kiss her. *sigh*

why was it so easy for you to say no?

your explanation was weak...

and it hurt.

i had picked up the phone and dialed your number, believing there was no other possible answer than yes. "yes!" "of course!" "absolutely!"

but you said, "i'd be honored, but we haven't talked in two years." a big fat no.

i had to hold back the tears because i had been let down. no, pushed down. kicked. i wanted to ask you why because, to me, two years of silence from you could be overlooked when weighed against the other fifteen friendly ones we had. the birthdays. the stolen spoons. the bowling ball theft. the late-night study groups. the stupid drama of camp. the calculus.

was it good for you?

i called on your birthday. i drove to see you once a month.

you sent me a birthday card once, but it was so forced i didn't keep it. you came to see me once because i called to tell you how much i hated being the one to keep the friendship alive. you stayed for an hour. even so, i still thought of you as a friend. i visited you in the summer when you were 45 minutes away. i helped you babysit because i thought it would be fun. i had fun, didn't you?

i've called and left messages before, but i never heard from you. should i have taken that as a hint?

perhaps this relationship was doomed from the start. i always felt i had to do more, be more, so i wouldn't feel lonely ever again. perhaps i thought we were more than we really were.

have we spiraled into nothing but acquaintances?

is this goodbye?

would it be vindictive of me not to invite you to my wedding now?

don't you love my updates?

i know you do!

• i need to be better about getting to the gym... and staying there. :D
• i finalize the contract for our wedding location on friday.
• my mom's cousin's kids are coming to visit for a couple weeks. i have never met them before. they are from guatemala (a lot of korean people there). do i speak to them in spanish? korean? some strange, incomprehensible mix of the two?
• tom is flying up tomorrow to get the rest of his stuff.
• i leave for atlanta on sunday at 7 am. yay, we all look forward to waking up at the buttcrack of morning to catch a flight to one of the hottest cities in the country for a week of conferences with other teachers. fun.
• my awesome bridesmaids are planning a bachelorette party involving a naked stripper, alcohol, and ME. what a combo! (paulo, if you read this, pretend you didn't see it. seriously.)
• i can't wait to be married! ^_^

and finally, a 12-inch penis can be funny.

so are abandoned dildos.

happy 4th!

i sold my soul for $20/hour

[sigh] today was the first day of "eight weeks of dealing with immature 12-14 y.o. boys who have retarded haircuts." i don't know how i'm going to survive this year; at least last year, i had mostly girls. i can deal with estrogen, but a roomful of testosterone is unbearable. this is a break-down of the group:

• peter - "what time is it? ms. kim, do you know what time it is? this is boring."
  
• stephen - "i don't know any of this stuff. i'm only going to 7th grade."
• jason - "this is boring."
• jeff - "this is boring."
• earl - ...i know he will be that piece of coal jammed up my ass, except it will not be a diamond at the end of the summer.
• cody - "...and then she went to the airport and the lady asked for the tickets but she didn't have them and so she went home and the old lady said..." &c.
• josh - :) one of my favorites from last summer.

all boys... it makes me want to cry. i need to put my foot down and crack the whip tomorrow. apparently, they call me the devil because i gave them homework today. haha, they have no idea...

so anyway, i don't feel as excited about working as i did last year. mike and janet are the only ones back, and honestly, without the energy of jacob, raymond, sandy, and daniel, it's a bit quiet. oh, and ben! haha. as weird and creepy as he was, he was fodder for our jokes.

in other news, wedding planning is... bumpy. we still don't have a location decided, although we really liked belmont. my parents have been unhelpful and unsupportive through this process. they want things done according to their divine plan, which clashes in every aspect with mine. it's a miracle i got the dress that i wanted, although that took a lot of angry snipes from me and hours of pouting in my room. i can't take care of any other arrangements until we have a location set because all these people need to know when and where before they can guarantee anything. the only problem with belmont is that it is located about an hour from here. i'm going to talk to the catering director at mount vernon tomorrow and see if there's anything available around the time we want. it's a compromise if we have it there, but at least it's nice and old-timey. :P we'd get some great photos outside of the inn. next up: photographer, flowers, get working on table pieces. (do i have any of those former creative juices left?)

going go the gym's going well. (alliteration!) i only missed saturday. i did 1.5 miles today nonstop, that's getting back to where i was last year. off to a good start. i should look great in the dress by october. :)

despite all the flooding and damage caused by the last 4 days of torrential downpours, i rather like the rain...

time to get fit!... again!

went to the gym today. it's been... two years? yea. :P BUT... my mile time is still the same. that was surprising, no doubt. :) anyway, i was drenched in sweat after 30 minutes of running, so i came home. plus, my shoes weren't very comfortable. i'll have to remember my other shoes for tomorrow.

tomorrow i'm running the teachers' meeting at the academy, which could be interesting. we'll see. i've also got a STAR meeting from 8-3 (yaaay...).

busy busy...

oh yea. i also fixed the problems i was having with firefox and cnn's website. i'm awesome. ^_^

all it took was a dress

...for it to seem so real.

:) i got a dress that i'm happy with and absolutely DDDYYYIIINNNGGG to wear. i can't wait to see ryan's face. maybe it'll be beautiful enough he won't want to get it off me. ;)

who am i kidding? he has his own agenda.

we met one of the photographers we were considering. the only thing i don't like about his package is it doesn't offer the parent albums. i wonder how much it would cost to get those myself... tomorrow i'm meeting with another photographer, who had a great all-inclusive package (albums and all). i'm leaning more towards her. but... the guy we met today had a pink shirt on, so... :P it's hard to say which impressed me more--his portfolio or his shirt.

one more location tour tomorrow, and we'll have to decide by saturday. that way we can ensure we have somewhere to do this! :)

[insert picture of me in the wedding dress that ryan can't see] ;)

is it any wonder i'm shy?

...

oh, how i've missed you!

Coming to FOX this fall! Mondays @ 9pm to be precise. ^_^

Until then, I will anxiously anticipate the arrival of my QAF Season 5 DVDs, which I will watch over and over again, and then watch a few more times.

I haven't forgotten about my other Hollywood love... He has two movies this summer--"The Lake House" and "A Scanner Darkly," both of which I plan on seeing. :D

(Does this count as an emotional affair?)

on your mark, get set...

plan! :D

well, we closed and did all the fancy paperwork for the condo. we've had a major change in plans, and i've moved back home for the time being. ryan's at the condo, enjoying his last few months as a single man. ;) i've got some of my stuff over there, but i won't be living with him until we get married. (long story.)

mark your calendars for oct. 7! ^_^ (at least, for now.)

should i feel this tired all the time?

i thought i had a lot of copying to do...but then i remembered that i didn't. i swore for a few seconds while i stood in the copy room by myself, before i realized it was probably echoing down the hallway. chances are i was the only one in the building at that god-awful hour, but i didn't want to risk it. you never know who is going to saunter by.

my back hurts. we did a lot of walking and sitting this weekend. saturday, we walked from here to best buy (about 2 miles). it was interesting to see how this city really is not designed around pedestrians. we encountered some rather perilous dirt paths. it was funny to see ryan tentatively clinging the back of the guard rail as we made our way. :) we made it to best buy in one piece. we took a different route back, it was much easier and less dangerous.

on sunday, we went to sterling to look at some furniture. sit, stand, sit, stand, sit, stand, comment about the many ways one can have sex on all those sofas, sit, stand.

fingers crossed, we close next week.

do we really need another reason to laugh at goth kids?

Goth Youths Prone to Suicide Attempts and Self-Mutilation

i hate kids who copy everyone else so they can be different. :P

we're buying a condo!

:) our bid was accepted by the seller, so now we're getting all the paperwork and pre-closing stuff done. today, we had the inspection (ken came with me) and everything looked good.

how exciting! our own place. :)

<3

do you know what time of year it is?

happy birthday to me! :)

thanks sugar. ;)

sometimes life comes at you fast

(is that the visa tag line?)

exhausted. excited. expectant. all in a weekend.

exhausted...
we spent most of the day going to some open houses and checking out condos. we saw some really nice ones, some overpriced ones, and some that were stuck in another decade. we didn't see anything that wowed us, but one came pretty close. there's so much out there, and to think we only saw a handful of them. sheesh.

excited...
getting a condo will mean i get to live with ryan. :) no more long weeks of waiting or driving in traffic for an hour to see him. our first major step together... does this mean he's growing up? :P (well, i think i'm a little more grown up than he is. boys like to take their time.)

expectant...
not in the baby department. however, i do feel like i've given birth to a new ryan. i have to do a lot of literal and figurative pushing. ;) he's grown a lot in the time we've been together... we both have. i can't wait to see how great of a husband (and, eventually, father) he will be. i only hope and expect the best.

i've now moved past the days of doodling ryan's name in the corners of my papers to saying my future name out loud and debating whether to use it at school. i'll see a lot of my present students around in the hallways next year, and i'll always be "ms. kim" to them. would they find "mrs. connell" weird? even to me it's weird. :P i could continue with my maiden name at work. people would have an easier time remembering. well that's something to be decided later.

i've made love to the toilet

*barf* i've been sick... so sick. i've lost count the number of times i've had to stick my face in the toilet.

no i am not pregnant. as wondeful as that would be, i don't think anyone besides me would want that. :P

my dad was sick like this last weekend, and so were my cousins. whatever awful ailment they had, i now have. hopefully it won't last much longer. i had to call in sick today because there was no way i'd make it through an entire day like this.

we've also been in the process of looking for a condo. we've just been browsing, but ryan's working on finding a realtor to help us. it's exciting that we're taking our first major step together. :)

i can't keep my eyes off of you

being in love is a fantastic feeling.

like eating jelly beans all day.

but better.

the best part of a fantasy is not the buildup

it's the actualization! :)

that being said, i am engaged. isn't that dandy?

^_^

(okay, so it happened on saturday but it's really tuesday right now. i have to do this so i remember. but... who could i forget?)

i love you, ryan.

today, the people at hallmark are laughing at us

but i participate, so they laugh at me too. :)

happy valentine's day

february is always a month full of surprises

i talked to matt the other day... the first time in over a year. i can't even remember the last time we talked, but then he disappeared. (translation: he went to iraq.) i'm glad he's back, all fingers and toes intact. he's married and has a kid now. :) whoddathunk?

and of course, valentine's day is coming. :D

and...

mrs.
-
ryan
-
connell
-
to
-
be
.

^^

i think i had too much cheesecake

rachael ray made me do it. i found her recipe for quick and easy cheesecake, and i had a full bowl of her delicious cheesecake.

i eat too much.

and...

i am ashamed to admit i like "the notebook."

who doesn't want to look like this?

i sure do...

*sigh*

what a beauty.

the nigerians have spread their awesomeness to china

i got an email fro "cho wang" (LOL). he wants to share his money with me.

From: "cho wang" (cho wang@msn.com)
To: j***************@yahoo.com
Subject: please get back to me

Dear Sir/ Madam,

I represent Shanghai Secco Petrochemical Co. Ltd,My name is Cho Wang, Managing Direstor.(SSP.ch) China.We deal on importation and exportation of rawmaterials and petrochemical products into Canada,America andEurope.

We are looking for a representative who can help ourcompany collect money been owed by our customers in,Europe,America,andCanada.

Please if you are interested in transacting businesswith our companysubject to your satisfaction and in view of yourworking with us, wewill be very glad to hear from you.

You shall be entitled to 10% of any payment youcollect on behalf of our company.For further information Contact us, If this proposalis acceptable to you.

You will be required to forward to us the underlistedinformation:CONTACT ADDRESSES:...........FULL NAMES:............................PHONE AND FAX NUMBER:.........

Best regards,
Cho L. Wang
MD.(SSP. ch)
China.

no, i do not want your chinese money.

i need something interesting to do because my life is so boring

seriously.

at times like this, i wish i lived in a city. so much to do.

speaking of cities, my cousin amy is in town this week. she flew in from los angeles on saturday. i haven't seen her since she moved away years ago. possibly 14 years ago? good to see her, she's someone i can talk to, knowing she'd understand what i'm saying. she came to see her boyfriend (possible future husband) david. she's really short, he's really tall - it's a sight. they're been dating for three months. it's probable they will get married.

waiting for my turn... :P

it's almost the end of the year

a belated happy holidays...

i am thisclose to finalizing my move. i am just waiting for the leasing office to call me in to sign the lease. i will be moving just around the corner. :)

ryan is coming home tomorrow. i am very excited. it's been a tough few days without him here. *sigh* i can't wait to see him at the airport tomorrow.

i need to find a new place to live

i gave the office my notice today. i've been looking through some ads on craigslist. right now, the best place (with the best prices) seems to be the colonies, but it's not very convenient. it's on a road you can't access from the eastbound lanes of route 7. hmm... i'll keep looking. i'm giving myself until january 15 to find a place.

dreaming of my stolen car

for the second night in a row, i dreamed that my car was stolen.

friday night, i dreamed that i had gone shopping. i was looking for a bra, and ryan kept pointing to ones that he believed i should get. i said no to each one. i was looking for something specific, which i couldn't find. i felt myself getting frustrated because i wanted to find this one bra, but it wasn't anywhere in the store. we went outside to leave, but i couldn't find my car. i walked to the spot where i knew i had parked it, but it wasn't there. we walked up and down the aisles, looking for my car. ryan kept telling me he knew where it was, and then he would walk me over to a car that wasn't mine. it made me angry. finally we split up to search the lot, but neither of us could find it. we walked around the lot for hours, without any luck.

last night, i dreamed that i was somewhere in california and i was on my way to a party. there wasn't any place to park in front of the house, so i drove a few blocks down and parked on a side street. the street was a steep hill going up, and i parked right at the bottom, behind one other car. i walked to the party. as i left it later that day, i felt weird, like something was wrong. when i got to the street where my car was supposed to be parked, it wasn't there, and neither was the car that was parked in front of mine. i thought i had stopped at the wrong street, so i proceeded down another block, but that street was level. i went back and stared at the empty spot where my car should have been. i had no idea where my car was. i started walking up and down the street, looking to see if i had parked it somewhere else and wrongly believed it was on the hill. i went back to the spot and noticed a guy sitting outside on his porch, right above the street. i asked if he saw what happened to my car. he said a tow truck had been there earlier, taking away the cars because no one's allowed to park on that street. i looked around for a sign indicating that, but there wasn't any. i started to panic, and i asked where the truck took my car. he had no idea.

i did a search on google for dreams about stolen/lost cars, and this is what i found on several sites:

Everything begins normally in this story. You have gone to work or on an errand and parked your car. But when you come back to get in your car it is not where you put it. It doesn't seem to have been stolen, but it isn't in the right parking place. Everyone else seems to know where their cars are, but you wander around feeling silly and bewildered and frustrated. Where could it have gone?

Most Common Meaning: Cars in dreams often relate to the dreamer's career, or predominant identity in waking life. Your car is your "vehicle," the way you move through life, and it may be grand or shabby depending on your view of things on any given day. Losing track of your car is a theme that occurs when you have done what was expected of you, made the best choice you could under the circumstances, but you still don't feel your talents and abilities are being fully used. Your "vehicle" in those terms is not in its right place. This doesn't suggest you need to quit your job, rather the dream is reflecting a sense of being out-of-place, and of feeling that things didn't turn out according to plan. This theme usually recurs during periods of deep frustration; so don't be alarmed if the dreams themselves are highly annoying and disquieting.

this was the most detailed "interpretation" i could find. if it's true, then maybe i'm not happy with my job... well, not the job itself, but the situation i'm stuck in. truthfully, it hasn't gone according to plan because i have a team teacher that doesn't understand the word "team" and all its implications. i do find myself constantly frustrated by her lack of contribution to the team (with me and another teacher); she always feels she is right and somehow i need to accommodate her.

i love my job, i really do. i know there are many ways in which it could be more pleasant (in terms of the Big Brother vibe from the administration and team teacher compatibility), but i love the kids, i love my colleagues, and i love the support system. i want to stick it out in the county because i know it so well... i am a product of this school system. but in a few years, i might consider a change in school districts, just so i don't get burned out.

sometimes...

it's fun just to prance around in nothing but a negligee, singing along to cheesy 80s music and eating jelly beans.

:)

i can't wait to spend our first holiday together

i miss you...

*sigh*

the hardest part

...is saying good-bye in the morning. *sigh*

lazy weekend. those two words will suffice to sum up two days of...
[-] laughing
[-] tickling
[-] snuggling
[-] eating
[-] watching lesbians
[-] sleeping late
[-] being silly
[-] indulging in total and utter debauchery

:D it was great.

to the one i love

^_^ i love waking up to you.

or waking you up. i think that's more accurate.

and happy birthday to my dad.
and happy anniversary to my parents.

educational outsourcing

i'm all for private tutors, but this is ridiculous:
http://www.cnn.com/2005/EDUCATION/10/26/tutored.from.afar.ap/index.html

excerpt:
"It's called e-tutoring -- yet another example of how modern communications, and an abundance of educated, low-wage Asians, are broadening the boundaries of outsourcing and working their way into the minutiae of American life, from replacing your lost credit card through reading your CAT scan to helping you revive your crashed computer."

something about it weirds me out.

the reason teachers don't stay after school longer to help kids is we don't get paid past our contracted time. granted, i stay until 4:00 almost every day because i do have kids that come in and stay that long, but the school is almost always empty after 3:00. it's sad really -- i think it says more about the teachers than the kids. we've chosen a career that doesn't pay well because it's something we love to do. i know how frustrating it is for the kids -- to the point that i've offered help with Spanish, math, and history after school. (a handful have taken advantage of it.)

*sigh*

today was a good day. my kids made me smile.

and they think i'm cool.

:)

i'm hungry. where is all the food?

illumination.

i'm not sorry for kicking you out last night.

i was angry. i was hurt.

this weekend i felt like your responsibility. your burden. your weekly chore. i don't want to be a "to-do" you pencil in on saturday, a tentative appointment allowed to be shifted, interrupted. i want to know our time is sacred enough to you that you don't entertain the idea of anyone-else-ness. only you-and-me-ness.

i don't want to be forgotten... not again.

i don't want to wait for a phone call that never comes.

i don't want to feel like second place.

i want to be your everyday.

«i'm still waiting for
you to be the one i'm waitin for
something tells me that this is going to make sense
something tells me it's going to take patience
something tells me that this will all work out in the end...»

rain, rain, go away...

:) actually, it's really nice. we haven't had a good downpour in a long time.

the weekend... well, there will have to be some time that i devote to work. i stayed until 4 today to finish up some work. that means i will have less to do on tuesday. ;) i'm looking forward to having an extra day to relax.

this weekend, i want to feel... inspired. it's been a while.

oh, and... hello brendan. :)

days of solitude

i have been away for so long. it wasn't hard to stay away... life has been busybusybusy.

work is fulfilling... stressful... invigorating... frustrating... all at once. my life seems to mimic that too. there hasn't been a lot going on, but it always feels that way.

my weekend wasn't great. i fell asleep while ryan was here and i didn't know he left. i wasn't feeling like myself at all. it was like there was something lodged in the back of my head that i couldn't quite figure. it's still there... a little self-reflection is in order, i believe.

*sigh*

late at night, i feel like life has left me by the wayside...

oh, i almost forgot - it's been 26 months. <3

have you ever wanted to hit someone? really hit someone?

i got that urge several times today.

okay, let me explain my situation at work:

• i team teach 3 of my 5 periods. i team one class with SMR and two classes with KGT.
• KGT also teams with RCA. RCA and i are likethis because of the circumstances that follow.
• RCA and i are both "new" teachers... i.e. this is our first year of full-time teaching, but we have at least a year of student teaching/other teaching jobs under our belts. we are competent, if not better versed, than some of the older teachers.
• KGT has been teaching for 20+ years. in those 20+ years she's been teaching, educational theory has undergone major changes. she comes from a very different school of educational philosophy than RCA and me. as a result, we do things that go against everything i was told not to do in my graduate classes. i feel like i've angered the education deities.
  
• KGT team taught with the same teacher for the past 5 years. they clicked like the snap on my pants. this year, KGT is no longer working with ex-partner-in-crime and is experiencing severe withdrawal. consequently, RCA and i have to deal with that.
• KGT likes to throw her "i am so much more experienced" attitude at RCA and me. she believes that is her excuse to get away with doing nothing, which leaves the bulk of the administrative work to us. unfortunate for her, we are not happy with this situation.
• RCA and i had a secret throw-down with the department chair last week. we spent an hour venting our frustrations. our lovely MJ was sympathetic and appalled but grateful that we had remained professional and calm. we decided on a plan of action, which will be set in motion this week.
• KGT tends to do as she will without asking for an okay. for example... i had emails to write and grades to input, and i had both programs open on my computer. i stepped away for 2 minutes to speak with another teacher. she slipped into my room and closed out all programs and logged me off. she proceeded to do what she needed without the slightest apology. then she made me stay until 4:00 to help her input her grades. she has less than 15 kids in our shared classes. she couldn't do that by herself. is she serious?! "let's put a grade on it for now. you can read them later." you? my ass.
• KGT does nothing but complain about how much work she has or how the division of students doesn't make sense or how evil the administration is or... blahblahblah.
• KGT has never taken attendance in our classes.

where do i stop? i would not like to see her return next year. or at least, i would not like to team with her next year. i will try my best to remain sane until june.

i haven't gotten to the point where i have homicidal thoughts, but that could happen sooner than i thought.

uh-oh.

moved

the majority of my belongings are settled in my new apartment. now that i'll be in mclean, the drive to work will be shorter and less stressful. :) ryan helped me move all the big stuff (thanks!). i spent way too much money this weekend...

i'll use the rest of this week to move the last of my things. then i'll be on my own.

it's the start of something new.

more people remember me than i thought...

seriously... matt a. last week, shannon c. and john p. this week. :P

so i was really confused about my future rent because the girl leaving told me 750, but the lease said 900. she gave me a check last week but i couldn't figure out what it was for. okay, so i finally figured it all out today. she gave me a check for the difference in rent (since i'm taking over her lease) and then subtracted the prorated rent for september. so technically i AM paying 750. :P well, that's fine, my monthly paychecks are more than enough to cover that and live comfortably. my financial advisor promises to make me rich by the time i retire. i'm holding him to it. :)

i've decided that i have enough time to work for kathy in the afternoons. honestly, i don't have any work that i bring home, i can get most of it done in school. besides, who am i to turn down an easy two hours and cash pay? :D plus, it'll be nice to have some untaxed income. but shh, don't tell anyone. ;)

-__-

that we're still fighting this war four years later...

we have taken the wrong road.

our dead have yet to be properly honored.

---

today, the house is empty.

i'm empty.

just empty.

:)

i saw the prettiest bunch of orange roses today.

and it made me smile.

:)

only you

:) it's been tough these last few weeks, but i still find reasons to smile. it's amazing how much of my bullshit ryan puts up with, but i'm so glad he does. have you ever felt that something was so right?

you & me baby... <3 has it been two whole days? i miss you. :)

contemplation

i've been doing a lot of that recently.

i probably shouldn't, huh?

i cleaned my room. well, part of it. i can actually see the top of my desk now. bets on how many days it'll go like that?

i emailed daniel and jacob the "mr. chip" picture. hehe. "stop it, you guys are so immature." :)

i need to go back this week and finally sign my lease. (this keeps dragging out, doesn't it.) anyway, this time it will definitely be straightened out and ready to go.

okay... time to get more stuff done.

blue box, blue box!

so apparently chi got another (another!!) blue-box-with-a-white-ribbon because she had a bad day. just for having a bad day.

damn, where's my blue box? ;) i've had a year's worth of bad days in the last two weeks.

AHEM.

*cough*

so random

i noticed a guy walking through the parking lot in my direction as i was heading in to the mall. all of a sudden, he says, "hey jessica." i froze because i didn't know who he was. i thought for a while, then i figured out who it was. it was matt. he looked so different from the way i remembered him. definitely heavier.

i can't believe he recognized me. well, i guess i don't look all the different. :P

take me away

how do people live as long as they do with their parents? how did i even manage to stay here this long? i hate coming to this house. each day i get angrier. each day i remember all the pain i've felt. each day i realize i've been the good obedient daughter for too long.

i am leaving september 17.

the little girl inside can finally smile.

is that macy's?

seriously. i can see the macy's across the street from where i will soon be living. :D i'm a couple signatures away from living in mclean... a seven minute walk from tyson's II, a fifteen minute walk from tyson's I. all the cheesecake factory, maggiano's, and p.f. chang's i can eat. :P

*sigh* yet still sad...

moving out

i saw a place tonight that i liked and couldn't walk away from it without knowing i could have it. i'm going back tomorrow evening to sign the lease.

the one thing that saddens me the most? leaving my dog. my parents have always threatened to get rid of her if we left. as long as i was here, those threats never surfaced, but now that i've decided to move out, i don't know what will happen to her. my parents are leaving for korea in two weeks and won't be back for a month. i can always come by every day and see to her needs, but what about after my parents get home? what then? it kills me to think i won't ever see her again. she's been a part of my life since i was 15. i've grown so attached to her. when i used to come home for the weekend when i was in college, she was the first one i had to see as soon as i walked in the door. i'm going to miss her so much. :'(

i sent a text message to my brother, letting him know what was happening over the next few weeks and that he needs to figure something out for her. technically she is his dog, and he has never taken care of her. i've been the one to feed her, wash her, take her out to play, take her to the vet - she's the very needy little sister i never had. the thought of leaving her behind is making me cry...

at the same time, i am very excited that i am leaving. i will miss this house, it has been my home for 17 years. i've grown up in this house. but it's time for me to leave. i'm 24, i need my own space, and i need my own life. the plans i came up with for my life when i was 18 haven't quite worked out the way i wanted, but i'll make do with what i've got and hope things start to happen. maybe i won't have to give up my dreams...

still...

i love you, baby girl. i'm going to miss you. <3

i've cried enough this week.

xmas wishlist

i'm depressed and i'm bored. that gave me time to think about what i want for xmas. i'll probably end up buying it all for myself anyway.

(check right side module)

mike is stalking me

i had a conversation with mike. i learned:

mike: i also stalked your name off that flickr site
me: you stalk me a lot
mike: yea sorry bad habit

:: a testament to my awesomeness::
mike: so after you and jacob left, it was no fun
me: sorry i had bigger things to do ;)
mike: yea yea

*sigh* i miss my summer job... the lack of accountability is so seductive.

fall plans

well, i think i'm going to move out sometime in the next several weeks. maybe by october. this is one place i'm looking at this weekend: http://the-rotonda.com./24.htm. look at that place. it looks like a resort. :) it's only 5 miles from work, which is a huge plus. i'm checking out another place in falls church. it's also 5 miles from work, but it's closer to bailey's xroads. i like the first place better because it's north of work, meaning i'll be that much closer to ryan. :D

let's see when this happens.

you're still the one

you're still the one i run to, the one that i belong to.
you're still the one i want for life.
you're still the only that i love, the only one i dream of.
you're still the one i kiss goodnight... <3

it sucks to be sad, but we get through it.

i love you.

enigmas

life is confusing. you expect something, but it doesn't happen the way you want. or things happen that shouldn't, but there's no way of stopping them.

people are confusing. their mouths say one thing, but their actions say something completely different. you want to believe their mouths, but actions speak louder than words.

at almost-25, should i still be this unsure of myself? -__-

where am i headed? do i let go of everything i want to keep what i have?

a veces, no entiendo nada...

my last day

"when is your last day? you keep coming here." ~jacob :P

i went to PEI on thursday and friday. thursday i finished orientation at 11:30, so i met everyone for lunch at five guys. (i talked with mike about his job search, it sounded like good news, but as of yesterday, it still seemed uncertain. i hope everything works out for him.) later i went with everyone back to work. mike needed to make some phone calls, so i helped him out with his class. i read and discussed an article with them, which was completely over their heads. mike and i ended up just hanging out with the kids for the last hour.

friday i drove over at 3:00 after orientation, and we all went out for happy hour. janet was supposed to come, but she forgot. mike's gf kaitlyn (caitlyn?) came. anyway, we had so much fun making jokes about our waiter, who was really weird. what we figured were his attempts at being funny just seemed really rude. just the highlights of our awesome hour:
- daniel's five glasses of fruit punch (hahaha...)
- $MR$CHIP ("you guys should grow up")
- jacob trying to drink out of the water pitcher ("man, you can't do that!")
- story about hippie mike :P
- making fun of mr. jeong
- "hey, where's ben?"
- david and jacob simultaneously hitting their heads on the overhead lamps

dude... life will be so boring without seeing them everyday. :P i hope i can get there next friday. we totally need to take a goofy group pic. throwing gang signs or something, haha.

six flags

small park, but a lot of fun. :) i ended up spending the whole day with mike, dj, and david. halfway through the day, all our kids wanted to go to the water park, so we ditched them and went on rides. we are such awesome chaperones! :P we had a lot of fun. mike and i mostly talked about work and his options. we also ended up having to pay for our lunches because there weren't enough vouchers for some reason.

the low point of the day was finding out raymond's bookbag was stolen. he was so upset, it was hard for the rest of us to know what to do or say. there really wasn't much we could do for him except give him some company while he walked around. we stuck around for about half an hour longer than we planned because we had to figure out how we were going to bring back the kids that he had driven. it all worked out, though. raymond's brother was going to drive up there with the spare key for his car, but raymond just wanted to get his camera and ipod back. i feel so bad for him... i hope there's some good news tomorrow.

anyway, i didn't get to take any pictures because our group was so big, and they were just scattered all the time. oh well. i've taken plenty up to now. :)

i'm going to miss you guys!

*sniffle*

well, yesterday was my last official day of teaching. it was sad. *sigh* some of the kids kept saying, "Noooo!" and asking me to stay. :P liars, all of you!

i went today after i finished with the HR orientation. the kids were all standing in the front entrance, and they swarmed me as soon as i walked in. all the teachers looked exhausted. raymond and mike said it had been absolutely chaos today. see what happens when i'm not there? ;) i chatted with the teachers, and we figured out tomorrow's trip to six flags.

i'm going to miss working with everyone. :)



man, we're hot.

and these are my girls:

surviving the eastern shore

awesome weekend, despite having been on the eastern shore. ;)

thursday... we got there around 4:30ish. hit some traffic on the way up (on WW bridge), coasted the rest of the way. we got a little lost in the area where the inn was because the street signs were confusing or just not there. :P we figured it all out though. we showered because we were pretty nasty from the hot drive. then we walked around and checked out what there was to do. evidently, not much, haha. everything was closed. we ended up getting dinner at safeway (giant sub, two sparkling waters). turned in for the night.

friday... got up early and ate an awesome breakfast. quiche, coffee cake, fruit, cereal, fresh OJ... seriously, quiche?? i'm going to miss the breakfast. we did some more walking around. we stopped at the Old Towne Creamery and got some ice cream. i got to see another asian girl, so it was fun. :P i didn't feel so alone. we checked out a chocolate shop, i was very tempted but didn't end up buying any. we went back and took a nap. then we had dinner at Legal Spirits. food was delicious. :) we eventually went back to safeway to get something to drink. it started to pour while we were in there, so we had to wait it out. the rain slowed after about 20 minutes. we got strawberries and cool whip too... and ate all of it in one sitting. :D we hung out for a couple hours, then called it a night.

saturday... another awesome breakfast. no quiche, but there were these yummy little sausage things. we made fun of the other couple at breakfast, then checked out the farmer's market. ryan got some hot sauce and marinade, and some white peaches. then we drove up to st. michael's (it's a little town west of easton). we walked around a bit, made fun of people. there were these iron things sticking out of the ground by the water. i wanted to bend over next to one of them (with my butt on one of the pointy ends), but there were too many people around. :P i don't think ryan would have let me do that anyway. (party pooper.) we had lunch at The Crab Claw restaurant. there was a bit about it on food network, so i wanted to try it. we ordered a dozen steamed crabs and got through ten of them. :D so yummy. i'd do it again, it was so worth it. we got back, relaxed for a while, then had dinner downstairs. that was THE fanciest dinner i've ever had. all complicated. went upstairs afterward, hung out, went to bed. :)







drove home sunday morning after breakfast (again, hardy and so yummy!). uneventful. i fell asleep on the couch watching family guy with ryan. oh, ryan got me this gorgeous watch. he's a mind reader - my other watch died. :P it's really cool, it recharges in the light. and he got me... something else, i can't really share. ;) i got him The Hitchhiker's Guide and both Family Guy box sets. :)

ah... i'll miss that big fluffy bed and the clawfoot tub. ;)

i love you <3 happy anniversary...

automatic vacation response

going away for the weekend with ryan. :) be good, kids. back sunday.

did you hear?

my old man is 24 today! :D

hey old man... i love you. ;)

no, really, i love you. <3 :)

august 2, 2005

happy 2nd anniversary... <3

so sick -__-

ryan came down to spend the afternoon, but i ended up getting really sick. :\ shortly after he arrived, i had my head in the toilet, puking up my breakfast. :X we went and saw "wedding crashers," but i really wasn't paying attention. i kept tasting the acid in my throat every time i swallowed. i sent him home around 6:30, i felt so bad. :(

i miss you... i hate that we spend more time apart than together...

this will be a great week though. on thursday we leave for our anniversary weekend. :) <3 i can't wait.

the run-down

well, i just got home from anupama's wedding. it was fun. :) very energetic at the end, hehe.



it was at foxchase manor in manassas. the place is huge! but too cold. :P



omg, aren't we the cutest? ;) i have to admit i look really good here. (not to mention my boobs look enormous.)



some other random pics:

from friday...

peace out. (i think that ghostly image by my face is actually my phone. i was swinging it around on my finger at one point, it might have been this one.)



here i am with two of my favorite girls:



ryan thought it would be funny to take a picture of me brushing out my curls. silly boy. (ooh, nice handprint on the mirror. i need to clean.)



damn yo, look at that perfectly done hair. ;)



i'm not vain. really. :D

tales of the funny, the sad, and the weird

what a full week it's been...

1. the saddest thing that happened this week was someone stealing nick's game cartridge from his gameboy. according to nick, after lunch he placed his gameboy on the table and he sat on the floor to play cards with a group of boys. josh (his brother) saw the gameboy, handed it to him, and told him to put it away. nick put it back on the table and said he would put it away later. about 10-15 minutes later, nick reached for the gameboy but the cartridge was gone. he came up to me with his gameboy, looking like he was going to cry. "ms. kim, someone stole my game."

the teachers and i turned that place upside down looking for it. i got all the kids into their classrooms, and i had them all dump their bookbags and empty their pockets. nothing. i called kathy and told her what was going on, and she asked that i gather all the kids by the kitchen and do another dump. i had ben take care of the older kids out there, mike and raymond searched their kids in the classroom. i had some of the boys help me gather up all the trash bins, and i searched them with my hands. it was the most digusting thing i've ever done. do you have any idea what's in those trash bins after lunch? gross. but i did it anyway. the bookbag and trash searches turned up nothing.

the kids went back to class, but the other teachers and i were still really upset. why would anyone steal a game from nick?? we stopped classes and did another search. i helped ben with the older kids, mike and raymond did theirs, nothing turned up. as the kids went back to class, i checked the bathrooms, the outside bathrooms, under bookshelves, behind plants, everywhere. nothing. i told nick we had done our best, but someone was hiding it and we didn't know what to do.

around 2:00 raymond pulled me out of class and said he had found the game. on a hunch, he had gone into the boys' bathroom and looked under the trash bin. there it was. he was so angry. he paced the hallway for a few minutes. he went from class to class, talking with each boy individually, but no one confessed. we called mike out and we decided that we had to sit the kids down and let them know how disappointed we were about this incident. they lost all their lunch privileges, so they have to eat in their own classrooms, no wandering, no computer lab, no gameboys, no cards.

the sit-down with the kids went really well. considering it was the 2nd time that one of the kids had lied to us (the first time being the "Dirty" incident), we had to let them know that we were dead serious and they were not going to get off scott free. we all did a pretty good job of expressing our disappointment (with the exception of ben - explanation to follow), and i think the kids understood that this was no laughing matter.

okay, so here's what happened with ben during this whole time. during the first bookbag dump, he was yelling at the kids to be quiet and throwing their stuff on the floor. unacceptable. during the second dump, he literally picked up each bag, held it upside down, and dumped everyone on the floor. he got papers, books, and pencils scattered everywhere. the kids were so upset. he didn't flinch and told them to hurry up and pick up their things. during the third dump, i had the kids line up in front of me and ben for searches. all i did was open the bags, stick my hand in and search around, and only open pockets that looked suspicious. meanwhile, he continued dumping and throwing. kids migrated to my line. there was no need for him to take it out on the kids like that. he needs to learn to keep his temper under control and understand that scaring or pissing the kids off doesn't help our cause.

during the sit-down, he butted in with something about integrity and "a man's word." i think we all rolled our eyes. he always does that - says something that the kids won't understand, in a way that's even hard for us to understand. he just loves bringing in his marine background into everything he does and says. it wasn't necessary, and it was inappropriate. he has to keep things simple and straightforward.

anyway, we didn't tell the kids we had found the game. we pulled nick and josh aside at the end of the day and told them not to tell anyone we had found it. nick was so happy when he got it back. i was glad to see him smile again. if i ever find out who took the game and stashed it in the bathroom, i am going to give him a piece. he'd better hope and pray.



look at that face! how could anyone do such a thing?!

2. raymond and sandy began carpooling this week. sandy also has a "boyfriend" named scott. ;) hehe.

3. on thursday, before classes started, i was at the front desk, and ben was sitting across from me, talking to kelly, one of the little girls. i don't remember what they were talking about, but all of a sudden i heard him say, "i'm way cuter than mr. wolf." i had to turn away so he wouldn't see me laugh. i had to keep it quiet. i told kathy about that yesterday. she was like, "what?! no one says that about my mr. wolf." hahaha. ben always says things like that. that just makes me bring it up even more. "oh, mike, i think kathy has a crush on you. she said you were so handsome again." ;)

4. yesterday, we had pajama day again. ugh, the day ended up being ALL ABOUT BEN, as usual. he got on my nerves as soon as i walked in. he said he was going to watch "school of rock" with the kids. i told him it was inappropriate since he was going to be with the 2nd graders. he argued that there was nothing bad in the movie and that it was funny. i reminded him of the opening scene (jack black wakes up with a bad hangover), and the mention of pot later in the movie. i told him that was more than enough reason not to show that movie because i didn't want to have to explain what a hangover was. he said, "oh, then send them to me, i'll come up with some lie." yea, way to handle that, ben.

then he started asking my kids if they wanted to see "school of rock." of course, some of them had no idea what it was, so they wanted to see it. i told them it was inappropriate and that we had already agreed to watch "napoleon dynamite." ben started arguing with me. he said he was going to find a way for them to watch it, whether or not i approved.

i told kathy that she needed to tell ben not to show that movie. she frowned and asked, "why doesn't he know what's okay and what's not okay?" yea, i can't tell you that either.

so he ended up watching "spider-man 2" with the 1st-3rd graders. i watched "napoleon dynamite" with the 4th-8th graders. so ha.

5. during the movie, sandy was in the room with ben. she put a chair in the back of the room and sat down. he pulled a chair up right next to her and sat down. she felt uncomfortable, so she got up and moved to the front with the kids. she laid on the ground and the kids laid on top of her. halfway through, a bunch of the kids left for the bathroom. ben approached her and asked, "do you mind if i join you?" she said she did and asked that he go away. he thought she was kidding and asked why she was being mean. she repeated her answer, but he wouldn't take no for an answer. he laid down, so she got up and left the room. jacob and i were at the front desk, she came over and sat down. she was angry about his actions and told us what happened.

i went to see how my kids were doing (they were supposed to be reading), and ben saw me in the hallway. he said, "where's sandy? i need help with the kids." i told him that she had gone to the bathroom (lie) and had stopped to talk with jacob (mostly truth). i said i would go get her. when i told her he wanted her in the room, she said she wasn't going back. jacob and i laughed because, well, it was funny. :P ben came out to the front and asked sandy what was wrong because she seemed a little nervous. she went off on him. she told him that he shouldn't have laid down after she said she minded and asked him to go away. unapologetically, he said, "oh, well, i'm sorry." he went back to the room.

later he came out front again when sandy had gone to the bathroom or something. he asked jacob what was wrong with sandy. jacob mumbled something and left. when he told me, i was amazed that ben would think there was something wrong with sandy. the real question here is, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, BEN? get a clue. she doesn't like you. no one does. you're weird and creepy. janet talked with you about your behavior before she left. just because she's not here, it doesn't mean you can start being creepy again. it's called SEXUAL HARRASSMENT.

anyway, sandy never went back to the room. kathy came back at 12 with the pizzas. after all the kids got their food, ben left for mcdonald's, and i told kathy what happened. she was upset and asked sandy if she wanted to sit down with ben and talk with him in front of her. sandy said she thought it would be okay, but that if he did it one more time, she'd let kathy know.

6. i think it was monday, or maybe last week, but one day sandy was getting ready to leave at 3:30. she started walking back to her room to get her things, ben saw her and said, "wait, i'm going home too." he got his things too, and i saw them walking to the door together. kathy stopped sandy and said she needed to talk to her. they went back to the conference room, and ben stood by the front desk, flipping through a magazine. i was sitting at the desk, just watching to see what he would do. the kids i drive home brought their card game out front and were playing on the floor. mike was tutoring one of his kids, and he came out front to xerox something. he saw ben and asked, "what are you still doing here?" ben said, "oh i'm going to leave soon." mike left. i didn't say a word, just continued to watch him. i pretended to be doing other things.

now, i knew why he was still there. he was waiting for sandy. around 4, he asked me what kathy and sandy were talking about. i told him i didn't know (truth), but that it was probably about some of the students in her class. he nodded and went back to reading a magazine. at 4:15, sandy and kathy came out of the conference room. there was the usual exchange of "see you tomorrow's", and ben followed sandy out. as they were leaving, i made eye contact with kathy and whispered in korean, "don't let her leave yet, he's been waiting for her." immediately, she called sandy back in. by that time, ben had already gotten out the front door. sandy came back in, but he had no choice but to leave. coming back in would have looked suspicious and made his intentions obvious. i laughed about it as she came back in. she said, "i have no idea why he keeps doing that." we chatted a little about the inappropriate things he was doing, and sandy expressed how uncomfortable he made her.

seriously, what reason would he possibly have for waiting 45 minutes for sandy? they don't drive in the same direction. 45 minutes?? why? i just don't understand him. i think sandy has made it pretty clear that she doesn't want anything to do with him, but he has utterly failed to pick up on her signals. how dense. ugh. at least it makes for a good laugh the next day at lunch. you know, before ben joins us.

and that concludes the week.

oh yea, ryan left work early yesterday and came to see me at work. :D well, kathy too, because she missed him. ;) even some of the kids stayed late just to meet him, how cute. :) so check it out, me and my boy:



went and saw ken's house yesterday. it was nice. a little on the small side, but big enough for a single guy.

anyway, anupama's wedding tonight! :D

let's keep swimming

we took the kids to planet splash 'n play on friday, and it was so much fun! ^_^ i didn't take my bathing suit initially because i hadn't planned on going in the water. but all the kids kept asking me to go in (plus i wanted to get cody to go in the water), so i drove all the way home to get my bathing suit. i was pretty self-conscious at first, but once i got in the water and got drenched, it was okay. :P

yea, so as soon as i got in the water, mike, raymond, and jacob came up behind me (without my knowledge) and splashed me mercilessly. :P then they ran away. it took me a few seconds to figure out who had done it, but i knew right away because they were laughing on the other side of the pool. i wasn't able to get back at them, but i'll find a way. (okay so maybe i probably deserved that from raymond ever since the whole candy incident at the bowling alley, but mike and jacob will pay. ;) such nice boys... so deceiving.)

yesterday, i went with ryan to a water park by his place. it wasn't as fun and exciting because there were so many kids, and it was just a regular pool with a slide. maybe i can get him to go to splash 'n play today. :D

oh yes, i got myself a bear yesterday at build-a-bear. i got one for victoria too. :)

*sigh*

baby, i miss you...



also, emperor penguin babies are so cute. ^_^ i want one. yay!

a little relief

what a day:

1. mike went to the emergency room this morning, so daniel came in to cover for him. fortunately, mike will be okay. :)

2. janet talked to ben. i think he took it extremely well, as he didn't really let on. i didn't feel as uncomfortable around him, which makes working less stressful. i hope he learns from this experience.

3. it took 40 minutes to get a TB screening, which lasted all of 30 seconds. ugh.

4. jacob got a nice surprise from grace and jiwon to make up for their rudeness yesterday. aww. :)

5. i have bigger calves than raymond, a soccer player. -__-

i'm so tired...

a few of these, please

so cute. ^_^ i can't wait to have my own.


Victoria loves standing at our back door and watching our dog. Last week, she learned to say "mung," which is the onomatopoeic word for dog. Last weekend, she learned to say "may," my dog's name. :) too cute.


Another thing she learned was to use a comb. I wasn't here for this one, but it looks like she's doing pretty well.


Victoria also learned how to use zippers.


She's taken an interest in books, which is always fun. :) Now she won't tear and pound on the pages of the books she has.


Watching TV!


Okay, so she didn't learn to play the piano, but it's a start. ;) She pounded on the keys with her hands until my dad showed her how to use her fingers. She's so smart.

eff - are - eye - dee - ay - why

well, today was just... wow. how many times did i make eye contact with mike because of ben's inappropriate behavior? i lost count after 5. that boy is really going to cross the line one of these days and get himself into some serious trouble.

"oh my god, he is so annoying. i need a cigarette break." ~janet

:D

well, janet only has another week of enduring his weirdness. she has to go back to work the last week of this month because her school is on a modified calendar. we'll all miss her. :)

new uniform! haha... oh man.

oh yea, one more thing...

happy 24th birthday CHI! love ya, miss ya... <3

homer says

"now i have four children. you will be called... stitch face."

haha.

*sigh* i needed that laugh. :)

one big huff

i can't believe it's only wednesday. i'm so worn out already. o_O

i had told my girls the way mike and i felt about ben. in turn, the girls asked mike if what i had told them was true. :P i walked into mike's room at the end of the day, and he said, "you can't trust them with anything." hehe. all the girls - especially esther and sammy - are starting to feel really uncomfortable around ben. he singled out esther this morning during the meeting because she had pantsed one of the boys. (it happened in my room, his pants never came down past his butt, and only the older kids were in the room.) i thought ben overreacted by doing that, and so did mike. ben thought it was completely reasonable. (i roll my yes so much lately.) he's been really friendly with sammy, maybe a little too friendly. she tells me about how uncomfortable he makes her, especially with some of the comments he makes. he said something about how he's attracted to hispanic girls, and that sammy looks hispanic. (she doesn't.) he touched her leg to get her attention yesterday, which was really inappropriate, considering she was sitting less than 2 feet away from him. then she told her she needs to come earlier and stay late so he can tutor her in spanish. not necessary considering he WON'T BE TEACHING SPANISH.

i switched with him in the afternoon because he said he was having a tough time with the three ESL boys he had. i volunteered to switch. well, i worked with them yesterday and i didn't have any trouble with them whatsoever. except for a few times where they refused to speak english, they worked the whole two hours. raymond said he doesn't have a hard time getting them to work either, so i don't know what's going on with ben. i think it just might be that the kids don't want to take him seriously, or they aren't comfortable speaking english the whole time. well, i'm switching back to spanish next week. i'm glad because a lot of the kids taking spanish said he tries to teach too much new information in a short period of time without giving them enough in-class practice. ben said he clicked with them instantly and that things just rolled well, but that seems to contradict what the students said. i'm a little more willing to believe the students since there are more of them, and i know they wouldn't lie to me. i've known brian for a year now, and i know he wouldn't make things up. well, it'll be good to be back there with them. as hard as they can make it sometimes, i prefer being with them.

we're going to six flags next friday. the girls seemed excited, even more so when they learned that ben wasn't going. :X anyway, i think it'll be fun. we decided that the youngest group wouldn't be allowed to go unless each child came with his/her parent. a lot of them wanted to know why a parent had to come. i feel bad that they want to go but probably can't because no one can go with them. :\ well, hopefully they won't feel like they've been denied anything. we'll be going to planet splash and play in a couple weeks, so they can have some water park fun there. :) mike and i will probably take the older kids. they all want to go with us because they know we'll let them enjoy their time without ruling with iron fists. i'm taking them on all the coasters. :D

*sigh* so tired... maybe a nap?

black ranger!!

lately my cousins have been blogging about the US version of naruto. (cartoon? i'm so not hip.) anyway, apparently johnny yong bosch is doing the voice of naruto.

JOHNNY YONG BOSCH! ^_^ (for those out of the loop, he was adam park, the black ranger on the power rangers in the 90s.)

*sigh* how i loved him.

i am a huge dork.

happy birthday!

happy first birthday, sweet victoria. :D

bowling!

so we took the kids bowling today. i didn't participate, but i did cheer and jeer. ;) raymond, ben, and mike really got into it with the kids. they really had a lot of fun. one successful friday down... 6 more to go.

after most of the kids left, we (me, mike, jacob, raymond, and janet) went out for drinks. well, janet and mike drank, the rest of us stayed sober. ;) we just talked about how things have been going and did some "getting to know" chatting. "it was an accident." haha.

ah well... here's to the weekend. victoria's first birthday tomorrow. i probably need to stop by PEI on sunday and fix those computers for raymond's class. yay how exciting. -__-

hope everyone has a great weekend.

ooh yea, more pics posted.

the world is a scary place

i turned on the radio and it took me a few minutes to figure out what was going on. elliot was talking about something in london. when i finally put the pieces together, i got that strange feeling in the back of my throat again. not because i was scared... but because i was sad.

i don't know anyone in london. i never knew anyone in nyc. but it's still hard to pretend that i'm not affected by either event. even madrid last year. has the world really come to this? my dad is really angry about it, he's been condemning ALL OF ISLAM AND THE MIDDLE EAST. he has a tendency to overreact. i don't understand why london was targeted by extremists because it's a relatively quiet city in international affairs. they've had their share of terrorism from their northern neighbors. i don't know which is worse.

i've been hearing so many theories on the news. they chose england because they can't get past american customs. they planned it to coincide with the opening of the g8 summit. it was the french, angry over their failure to secure the olympic games. (right.) i don't think americans are overreacting by heightening security - it's a natural reaction, especially in our post-9/11 world. i'm not bothered by it - in fact, i almost called my parents this morning when i got to work to tell them to stay out of the city. i work just down the road from dulles international - who knows what kind of affect an attack there would have on outlying areas?

i'm not paranoid, just really saddened by the state of our world.

sometimes, i think our world really is coming to an end...

.o0((condolences to the brits and others who lost loved ones today.))0o.

it does make my life seem that much more insignificant.

work has been really stressful this week. i got two new students in the morning, and one in the afternoon. the morning kids i can deal with because they're half asleep most of the time. but the kids i have for spanish on tues/thurs have been so unruly this week. i'm in some unbelievable pain right now from all the stress today. my shoulders ache - as much as they would had i been hauling 50-lb. rice bags all day. (haha, i made a funny.) ben's going to take over spanish next week, while i do his ESL class. i'm fine with it. ben and raymond have both given up on them because they're so unattentive and unwilling to work. i'm not sure how much better i would be. *sigh*

also, we lost another computer to the superb computing skills of the kids. with three out of commission, the kids were fighting for time on the computers. i had one of the older boys, brian, act as lab monitor, making the kids take turns every 15 minutes. then yesterday, we discovered that someone had vandalized raymond's room with the whiteboard eraser. he/she had taken the eraser and written "Dirty" on the wall, then rubbed it all along the wall below the board. everyone denies knowing anything about it. so i had all the kids come to the kitchen area for a little sit-down. i told them that we needed to know who did it. he/she did not have to admit to it right then, but he/she should tell a teacher or kathy later during the day. the computer lab would be closed indefinitely if no one came forward. by 3pm, no one had confessed. raymond tried to reinstall XP on one of the three computers, but for some reason, it wasn't connecting to the internet (or maybe it just wasn't recognizing the connection). well, that just means i'll have to take a look at it. i am the resident computer fixer. um. considering the number of times i've had to reinstall XP on my machine, that's a little funny. :P

well, we're going bowling tomorrow. that should be nice and chaotic. i'm not bowling. i'd rather just watch and keep the kids out of trouble. and then... happy hour! :D or rather, "jessica sitting at a table while the rest of them drink" hour. :P

hmm... what to do about my aching shoulders?